Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, YouTube viewer question. Why does my wife nag me so much?
[00:00:03] Speaker B: That's a good question.
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Is it?
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Alright, so I think that there are two possible reasons for this. And the first one is maybe she's just not a very nice person. And you have to consider that as a possibility. Maybe, maybe your wife's just mean. But I think most of the time what it comes down to is men living lives as drifters, basically not pursuing any greater vision for their life. No higher crawling, not pursuing anything about their lives, just watching football, drinking beer, playing video games for hours every day, doing the same thing every day, not taking responsibility for anything in their lives. So I think that that kind of chips away at how the woman views the man, especially when it comes to nagging. Like, maybe it's the man's job. It's just known in the house that it's the man's job to clean the garage. And she starts nagging him about that. Like, I thought you were going to clean the garage. When are you going to clean the garage? She's basically waiting for him to do something, right? Like, do something, do anything and stop living life like a drifter. Like, like if you were pursuing your purpose and your vision for the future and a higher calling and all that sort of stuff, and if you are busy providing value all the time, I don't think that she would have a reason to look for things to nag about. Right?
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: What do you think?
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah. So I think going back to what you said, like, if it's known in your house that the man's job is, or the husband's job is to clean the garage or something. But if he doesn't, it's almost like the man just going back on his word. So if he says he's gonna fix the broken cabinet and he doesn't fix the broken cabinet, it's not so much that the wife wants the cabinet fixed, it's more of like she's seeing him going back on his word, so not following through. So like you said you were gonna do this, but you're not. So now I'm just gonna keep reminding you, like, hey, you said you're gonna do this and I'm looking for you to follow through on your word so that I can trust you. Because like, the follow through leads to trust and respect. So whether or not the wife, I'm going to use myself in this. So whether or not I, I want that task done or not, it's more of like, I'm, I'm looking to see if you're going to show up and do what you said you're going to do. And then going off of the second point you made. If the wife sees the husband, like, constantly working on something, like you said to. For the betterment of their family or their relationship or for that man's purpose or their job or whatever they're into at that time, if she's seeing him busy with that, then, like, I would not. Like, when I see you busy working on something, I don't. I'm like, oh, well, that task isn't done. But I do see him busy working on something. So it's not that big of a deal to me. Or, like, we can just get that done later. Because it's not like you're just, like, sitting on the couch eating chips, not doing anything. Because that would, like, that, like, angers me. Not that I see you doing that, but, like, I feel like that is just like, well, he's not doing anything, so he's gonna do the things that I wanted him to do, I asked him to do. But if you're busy pursuing something or working on your purpose, then that is more. That's something the wife can be proud of. Even more so than finishing her to do list.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: And do you agree that if a knife. A knife.
And do you agree that if a wife is nagging or looking for reasons to nag, that she's really looking for him to just do something and in a way, like, to feel his strength?
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. She sees, like, if I see you working on something, anything, then it makes me feel, like, proud. And that you're strong and that, like, you're taking care of us. But if I saw you, like, just. You spent the whole day, like, doing nothing, or like, playing a video game all day or just working on nothing. And then like, in. In the back of my mind, I'd be like, well, he could be doing this, and he could be doing this, and he could be doing this. He's not doing anything. So then, like, the. My opinion of you would just start to, like, diminish almost.
[00:04:07] Speaker B: And then also when a man is pursuing his purpose or his calling and he's actually working on something important, the woman definitely knows that he's doing something important and working towards a better future and all that. And I feel like women long for that in their lives. They don't want their man to just be doing nothing with his life, like, a dead end that's going nowhere. And it's like John Eldridge says in his book Wild at Heart. A woman doesn't want to be the adventure. She wants to be caught up in something much greater than herself. And while that excerpt is talking about, the woman doesn't want to be the most important thing in a man's life. She wants to be caught up in something much greater than herself. A bigger vision, a bigger purpose, an adventure, basically. And if she sees you pursuing that, then she will trust you more. And I don't think that she would have much to nag about, because you're busy. You're busy working, you're busy providing value, and you're busy working on a better life and a better future for yourself and her. So I think if you were doing that, then a lot of the nagging would stop and your relationship would just begin to thrive even more. I think that a man following his calling in his purpose and working hard is the most important thing. And the reason that she's nagging you is probably because you're acting like a lazy slob and drifting through life and not really pursuing or doing anything important.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah, because I think nagging is more than just you want little tasks done. I think it has an underlying emotion of, like, distrust or, like, you're trying to push your husband into, like, being greater, really, or, like, doing more with their life. So I think that might be a wife's way of trying to say, like, hey, do something with your life.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Or like, yeah, you got to get to the source.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, the source of the nagging more than just the to do list.
