Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] If you feel like the spark in your relationship has disappeared, like no matter what you do, she's cold, distant and disinterested. It's not because the love is gone. It's because the polarity is. Masculine and feminine energy are like magnets. When the polarity fades, attraction dies. But the good news, as a man, you have the power to reignite it. My name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, entrepreneur and men's personal development and marriage mentor. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives. So if that's something you're into, definitely stick around. Subscribe to this podcast, subscribe to this YouTube channel if that's where you're getting this. Because that's what we do here every week. Learn and grow together on our path to pursuing a fully optimized, leveled up life. And today I'm going to be teaching you how to restore the polarity in your relationship. Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man. So again, welcome and welcome back to the Warrior Kings podcast. It's good to have you here today. It's great to talk to you today. If you're new here and you are having problems in your relationship or in your marriage, I have tons of other episodes on this subject of how to restore the intimacy in your relationship, how to restore your marriage. So definitely check out those episodes too after this one. If you want to continue on this journey and if you feel like your situation needs a bit more work, if your situation is a bit more unique, if you need assistance on this journey, I have opened up my one on one coaching. There's a link for that down in the description of this podcast episode or this video. And I would love to connect with you to see how we can make that happen. Get you on a call, see how we can get your marriage thriving again. And with that being said, let's dive right into the topic of the day. Polarity. Polarity is what creates attraction. There are masculine energies and feminine energies, and when they are flowing in harmony together, you get attraction. And all humans possess the masculine and feminine energies. But it's the difference between the two. Whether you are a more masculine person or more of a feminine person, it's the opposites that attract and create the attraction. And sometimes that polarity can be thrown off. And if you're having relationship problems, if having marriage Problems. This is going to make a lot more sense to you in a little bit because most people don't realize that what has been lost, what has broken the connection in their relationship or in their marriages, the breaking of the polarity. And what's the difference between masculine and feminine energies? Well, the masculine is grounded, decisive, ambitious, directional still. And the feminine is expressive, gentle, nurturing. It flows. The feminine is emotions driven, intuitive. And the masculine craves freedom, driven by ambition. And the feminine craves love and safety. And safety is provided by the masculine, the protector, whether she knows it or not, in all aspects of relationship and marriage, the woman wants to feel safe and secure. She wants security and she wants protection. Women want to be able to relax into their feminine energy. And this relaxing is provided by your masculine core and her trust for your masculine core. When her femininity is thrown off, or if she has to step into the masculine, the polarity is broken and so is the attraction. And the the woman having to step into the masculine role happens for all sorts of reasons, mainly by the man not leading and guiding her in life, not having clear direction, not being grounded, not understanding his masculine role or living through his masculine core in life. And many times when the polarity is broken, you will see the man step more into the feminine. Under pressure, he becomes expressive and emotions driven, which ultimately takes away from the feminine's desire to feel safe and secure and able to relax into your grounded, still, safe, safe, masculine. She needs to be able to trust your masculine and be able to relax into her feminine. And this goes back hundreds, if not thousands of years ago. It's our natural human state. The man is the protector and the provider, and the one who leads and has ambition, provides for the family. And the woman is the nurturer. And she would need to relax into that role and trust your masculine direction. Like take a hunter, gatherer tribe thousands of years ago, for example. If the man wasn't a strong protector and provider, if he wasn't hunting, if he wasn't fighting off invaders to the village, if wasn't feeling safe and protected, if he wasn't protecting her, if he wasn't in his masculine role, and if she wasn't in her feminine role, they just simply would not have survived, they would have died. And we hold on to that a lot innately, even to this day. Even though life is so comfortable and safe now, relatively, even though we can just do things like go to the grocery store or have food delivered to our door, that's still in us, our drive to protect and provide in the woman's drive to nurture and take care of. And it's a lot easier these days because life is so relatively comfortable and, and we're not push and forced sort of to be in our masculine roles naturally to step into the feminine more than we actually should. And it causes way more problems in our lives and our relationships than we even realize because we are stepping outside of our natural role, our natural innate way of being as men. And when it comes to marriage and relationships, another thing that can happen when the polarity is thrown off, when the feminine has to step into the masculine, it makes the man feel powerless and he feels inside this need to regain control and reassert himself. And as the masculine is trying to regain his masculine role, the polarity is broken even further because now you have two people that are in the masculine role butting heads. And it takes some time to correct that, because her trust for your masculine core has been broken. And she feels the need to have direction because she feels now that if she's not the one with direction, everything is going to fall apart. Because you don't have direction, because you haven't been leading her effectively. She can't relax back into her feminine. When the masculine man is acting in the feminine emotions driven, expressive, not grounded, grounded, not having clear direction, not making decisions, not protecting and providing and providing safety for her, the woman cannot relax into her feminine energy. And this breaking of the polarity is the breaking of the attraction and the relationship, the connection, the marriage, the sexuality even. And a meaner way to say that, a blunter way to say that is, if she has become her own man, what need does she have for you? The masculine naturally wants to lead, provide and protect and help the feminine to feel safe and relaxed and secure. The feminine wants to relax into the masculine's leading energy and feel protected and safe. And if the polarity in your marriage or in your relationship has been broken for a while, it's going to take some time to regain that, to rebuild that, to rebuild that trust. It's going to take some diligence. You might have been acting in the feminine so long reactively that you'd barely even know who you are anymore. So it's going to take some time for you to regain your personal identity as a man and then also rebuild her trust for your masculine direction and your masculine core. You need to fully embody your. Your masculine and not allow anything to throw you off course from that. And what is that? Masculine, grounded, decisive, ambitious, directional, still calm, fully secure in self and able to lead effectively. And after you embody that, allow her time to heal and trust and feel safe again until she can eventually relax back into her feminine energy. And women will often test you to see if you are in your masculine energy. And this is usually totally unconscious. It's just a natural thing that women do. A natural, natural reaction. She's not consciously choosing, like, I'm gonna push his buttons and test him today. No, she's just doing it naturally. It's a natural thing that women do. She might poke at you. She might say something to try and throw you off course. It might even seem like she's trying to start an argument. She might comment on your weak points, and it's how you respond that matters. Because if you respond with expressive emotion, that means that you're in the feminine. And subconsciously, she says, I guess I'll try again later, because he's still acting like a girl. I guess I have to stay in the masculine. Another mistake that men make is trying people please her to try and fix the problem, to get to the problem source. Because naturally, as men, we're fixers. When something is broken, we feel the need to fix it, to get to the source of the problem, to take the thing apart and find what's broken and repair it. But you should never try to fix a woman's problem. You should only love her instead, while staying grounded and calm, secure, letting her feel heard, letting her feel understood, letting her feel heard and protected. And in this way, she can relax into her feminine. And subconsciously, she says, wow, he can't be thrown off course. He's really strong. I'm really safe here. I'm really secure here. Look how put together and grounded and calm he is. Look how rational he is. Rather than blowing up, expressing yourself, getting emotional, expressing your feelings, acting in the feminine. Women are nurtured in a different way than men are. By compliments, praise, safety, your manliness, protecting her and her spirit. That is how she's nurtured. Men are nurtured by the feminine's nature to care for us and to nurture us. Women are feelings and emotions driven, and they have emotional storms. And many of these emotional storms are tests of your strength. She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that you can't be moved. If she can throw you off course, anything can. Anything can knock you over. If one dumb comment causes you to fly off the rails, anything can cause you to fly off the rails. And that means that she's not safe, she's not secure. She wants to see you be grounded and unmovable. She wants to know that you are secure in yourself, that you don't need her approval, that you don't need to win over her. Because you are so secure in yourself and in your masculine, then she is safe. If you react emotionally, you break the polarity because you're acting in the feminine and this breaks her trust and safety. When you're in the people pleasing mode, the fixing mode, the trying to get to the source of the problem, the going back and forth with her, the reacting emotionally, you might say, I don't know what you want from me. Well, she wants you to want what you want and she wants you to have clear direction and to be level headed and grounded in your masculine. She doesn't want you to have to please her, to feel whole, she wants you to be whole on your own. And this is trust for your strength. If you don't trust you, she can't trust you. And if she can throw you off course, anything can, then she's not safe. The masculine is not needing of her validation and approval. It's full on its own. That is grounded, that is security, that is protection. This creates sexual polarity. It keeps the attraction alive. It's all energy. Mistakenly giving in to being more feminine just to please her will lead to her not trusting you. It will lead to her resenting you. It will lead to breaking the polarity. You don't need anything. You are secure and grounded in you, in who you are, in your direction, you are secure in that. And this way she can trust you, she can feel safe and she can relax into her feminine energy. Like I said, she knows you can't be thrown off course. Nothing can move you. The feminine wants to be led by the masculine and it is your duty as a man to lead her. So how do you fix this? If it's been a long time, if you've been with her for a really long time and you feel like the polarity has been broken for a while, or you're just now realizing that it's going to take some time. Like I said, especially if she has been taking on the masculine role for so long, if the trust has been broken for so long, if you've been acting in the feminine so long, there's a lot that needs to be undone there. And it's not undone by way of you talking about your feelings, talking about her. Again, that's acting in the feminine. What you need to do is embody the masculine. Start acting in the masculine in every aspect of your life. Stop reacting Emotionally stop expressing yourself, start leading again and do this subtly. And like I said, she won't be used to that because it's been a while. But eventually she will begin to trust you again. Or ideally she will once you start embodying the masculine again. And there's no time frame on how to make this happen, but it is possible to make it happen because the more you are acting in your masculine, the more she can relax into her feminine and the more she can relax from not having to be her own man anymore. So stay level headed, stay grounded, stay present, have ambition, express all of your masculine traits and put that on full display for her and allow her to relax back into her feminine energy. And maybe this is the first time that you've ever heard somebody talk about masculine masculine energy before or what masculinity is. Then I encourage you to dive into the literature, discover what masculinity is, what that means, what it means to be a man. There are tons of resources out there and be careful because there's a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing that teach a false masculinity, One that's based on disrespecting and hating women, one that's loud and rude and boastful. That's not what masculinity is, that's just being a Research and learn what true masculinity is. Some books that I would recommend are the Way of the Superior Man, Iron John. Hey. My own book, Warrior King. I had a beard hair on my shirt this whole time. That's super awesome. But in order to restore the attraction and the intimacy in your relationship or your marriage, there needs to be a correction of the polarity. You need to be in your masculine and you need to allow your woman to relax into her feminine. I had to cut off for a minute. My neighbor started walking up my driveway and it scared the out of me. Anyways, there are a lot of different dynamics out there. Like some of you might say, well, my wife is a business owner, she's the breadwinner, she brings the most money into the house. And you might feel like that's throwing the polarity off a little bit. But there was a time where when I started some new endeavors, my wife was the one who was making the most money. But there are ways to keep the polarity because masculinity is a way of being. It's not based on external factors or circumstances. It's based on who you are and how much you allow her to be in her feminine energy. And that's a complicated subject that perhaps we'll get into on another episode. I would love to explore that, you know, different dynamics and how to keep the polarity and attraction alive because life's a little bit different. The dynamic might be a little bit different in some circumstances, but like I said, mat masculinity is a way of being. It's internal, it's who you are. And keeping the polarity active has nothing to do with external circumstances. Repairing marriage, repairing intimacy, repairing relationships is a super complex topic. I could talk about it all day long. In fact, it's one of the passions of my life, helping men in their marriages. But in January of this year, I put out a book called Warrior Husband, how to be a better husband and save your Marriage that's available in paperback, ebook and audiobook. There's a link for it in the description of this podcast episode or this video. And I put pretty much everything that I know about marriage and relationships and how to have a happy, thriving marriage in that one book. And I want it in your hands. So definitely follow that link. Check it out. If you need a good book in your life, I highly recommend it, of course, cuz it's my book. But honestly, I wrote it with the intention to repair as many marriages as I possibly could in the new year. And if you can't get a copy of that book because eggs are super expensive, I'll send you a copy of the ebook for free. Like if you just can't buy it right now, if your situation looks like you just can't get it right now, I want that book in your hands. That's how much I believe that it will help you in your relationship and your marriage. And it's not just for men whose marriage is falling apart. I wrote it for all husbands and there's something in there for everybody. If you want to have a happy, thriving marriage and there's literally no catch, I'm not going to ask you for anything. I'm not going to pitch you my one on one coaching course or anything like that. I just want you to read that book. So definitely reach out to me if you want a free copy of that ebook. And that's what I got for you guys today. We're definitely going to be expanding on polarity in the coming episodes, so look forward to that. It was great to talk to you today. It's great to have you here today. Definitely subscribe if you're new here year. And don't get discouraged, man. There are great things in store for you. There are great things in store for your marriage, your relationship. There are great things in store for your life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you on the other side of you deciding to make the switch, make the change, and level up every aspect of your life. As a man, I really, truly believe that a life of overflowing abundance awaits you. You listening to this right now? I hope this episode inspired you, man. Drop me a comment if you want to connect. I love you, I'm proud of you and have a great week, man. Thanks guys. Bye.
