Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] If you don't believe in yourself, nothing is going to work out for you. That's a hard truth. These days, it's increasingly difficult to feel confident to accept our identity and our true authentic selves. Especially with the rise of social media and the disease of comparison, many men these days are finding themselves lost, struggling to feel confident, struggling to believe in themselves, and trying way too hard. But confidence doesn't come from trying to be something that you're not. It comes from being your true authentic self. If it's your first time here. My name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, entrepreneur, men's personal development and marriage mentor, husband and father of six. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives. So if that's something you're into, definitely stick around. Subscribe to this podcast, subscribe to this YouTube channel, wherever you're getting this. Because that's what we do here every week. Talk about man stuff and how to be our best selves in our lives. Better fathers, leaders, husbands and more. And today I'm gonna dive into a few success mindset shifts that have the power transform your whole life and the way you see yourself and the world. Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man. So again, welcome and welcome back to the Warrior Kings podcast. It's great to be here today. It's great to talk to you today. And really quick, I just want to give a huge thank you for 1,000 subs on YouTube. Finally, 1,000 subscribers. It was a long road. You know, it's kind of crazy that the podcast has thousands upon thousands, thousands of listeners all over the world. The audio podcast does. But growing the YouTube channel has been a little bit crazy, a little bit daunting. I guess it's just hard to grow on there and reach people on there. I don't know. But we finally hit 1, 000 subscribers. And to those of you who are subscribed to that channel, I just want to thank you so much for that. Super exciting. I can't wait to hit that next milestone because I feel like YouTube is another platform where we can reach men with these powerful messages. So it's awesome to finally be growing on there. In other news, you might notice if you're on the YouTube vers podcast episode, that I have a new sign up behind me and that's a handmade sign. I Made it myself with wood burning tools and some other things. And there's going to be a video of me making that sign on the YouTube channel as well. So look out for that. I'm in the process of making that video, but it's all shot. I just haven't edited it. But that's the new sign. Pretty bad, huh? I know my head's blocking it a little bit. I probably should have put it a little higher up. But yeah, super excited about that, kind of upgrading my set, you know, my background and all that. Another thing that I wanted to thank my regular listeners for and who have read my books is Warrior Husband. My how to be a better husband and savior marriage book has been consistently in the top 10 in marriage and family on Amazon. And that is totally crazy to me because that's what my mission was this year. To help as many men as possible level up their marriages, as many couples as possible learn how to have a happy, thriving marriage. And that's why I put that book out. And I'm actually selling tons of copies of that book every month. Like I said, it's consistently in the top 10 in marriage and family on Amazon. So huge thank you to everyone who has gotten that book. I hope that it's helped you transform your marriage and transform your life. And in other news, I got a lot of news today. I guess it's been a little while since I talked to you guys, and that's because our new daughter is here. Our new daughter, Cyprus, she was born a couple of weeks ago and I took a couple of weeks just to spend time with her and spend time with family, you know. It's been super awesome. This is my sixth child. That's a lot of kids, you know, but every child is a blessing. And it's been super awesome to just have her in our life, you know, and. And I can't wait to watch her grow up. You know what I mean? She's the sweetest, cutest baby in the world. So if you were waiting a couple weeks for a new episode, that's why, you know, new kid in the house. So I really just wanted to separate from work for a while and focus on family and the new baby and, and my other children and all that kind of stuff. But I'm back. And with all that being said, let's dive right into the topic of the day, which is success and confidence. If you were to be honest with yourself, how confident are you? Like, really examine that look within. Do you find yourself to be a confident person or I guess you would say a not confident person. When you meet new people, when you're in public places, or when you think about putting yourself out there, like let's say you want to do something like this, you want to talk to a camera and reach people all over the world, Would you be able to do that? Or do you have some fear in that? Do you consider yourself a shy and awkward person? Or do you consider yourself someone who's very charismatic and outgoing and just kills it everywhere you go and you feel like you have that magnetism? Well, first of all, if you're listening to this or watching this, I'm guessing you're here because you want to know how to be more confident or you want to reinforce your confidence. And here's the truth, man. The people that you think of as the most confident people in the world actually have their own insecurities too. There are things that they're self conscious about. You just don't see that, right? Again, I'm here today talking in front of a camera. There's a fly flying around in here. Anyways, if. If you see that on the video, I can't get that sucker. But like I was saying, you see me talking to a camera, you're listening to this on the audio platform, dude, I'm not the most conf person in the world. It took me a long time to have the confidence to be able to do this. But back to what I was saying. Do you consider yourself a confident person? And if not, if there are things that are making you unconfident. Is unconfident a word? Anyways, if there's anything that is making you not confident, where does that come from? Think about that as well. Like those things that make you feel self conscious or make you feel shy or make you feel awkward, what is the root cause of that? Where does that come from? And there's this thing that people call limiting beliefs. I'm not really big on that term limiting beliefs personally. I call them life ruining fictitious mental constructs. I call them that because they're life ruining, they're fictitious and they're mental constructs. In other words, they're not real. These deep seated false beliefs that you have in your life could be holding you back from your full potential. And what is a limiting belief or a life ruining fictitious mental construct? Where does this thing come from? Well, since we're born, we are being programmed our entire lives, our beliefs, how we look at the world, what we believe about other people, what we believe about ourselves. And so how does this relate to confidence. Well, let's say that you think that you're a shy person or an awkward person. Maybe that comes from when you were a child. Maybe your parents or your friends or your siblings or somebody like that were always telling you and telling other people, oh, he's just shy. He's shy. He's a little awkward. He's shy. And that just stuck with you. And you still tell yourself that story to this day because it is now a deep seated false belief. Maybe you're not shy. Maybe you're actually really outgoing. You know, maybe this is a false belief. Maybe you were told that you're shy, but you're not. And these beliefs, whatever they may be, and you have to do, do the inner work to find them, recognize these false beliefs and get rid of them. But these beliefs come from things people said to us, things that embarrassed us when we were growing up. They could even be things that embarrassed you recently. You know, maybe you were in middle school and Jessica said that you look funny when you smile and so you kind of hold back from smiling. Maybe somebody said your laugh is weird or you walk funny or all these things. And that sticks with us our entire lives and becomes a belief about ourselves. The best example I have is the shy one. Do you think that you are a shy, awkward person or were you just told that your entire life until you believed it about yourself? Another issue when it comes to confidence these days, especially for men, is that we're kind of programmed to not be confident. You know, you hear, oh, he's cocky, he's a douchebag, he's full of himself, all these things. And you feel like if you were to be confident in yourself, if you were to believe in yourself, if you were to think that you were the. Everybody is going to judge you and look down on you for that. And so you unconsciously held back from being a confident person because you have this deep seated false belief that being confident, confidence as a man is wrong. So really quick, I have an exercise for you. If you're listening to this, drive in, keep this in your mind and do it later. But here's the exercise. I want you to get a piece of paper and I want you to split it into two columns. And in the first column on the left, I want you to write 10 to 20 negative beliefs that you have about yourself and really do some self examination in this. You know, like look within, get, get deep in there. Be like, I'm shy, I'm ugly, I'm not outgoing. You know, whatever these things are really get to what those things are that are holding you in your confidence and your confidence in pursuing success and being a successful person. And you can either put those in bullet points or number them. And then in the second column on the right, I want you to write why that belief isn't true. And this is one of the ways of getting rid of these life ruining, fictitious mental constructs that we hold that hold us back from our full potential. Because you have to prove to yourself that it's not true. And then that will create the new belief. So write down the negative belief that you have about yourself and then next to it in the other column, write why that's not true. So again, let's say I'm shy or I'm awkward, right? No, I'm not. You know, I talk to people all the time. I have plenty of friends, I go to work every day. I'm not a shy and awkward person. I just believe that about myself. And another way of getting rid of these false beliefs is that every time that they pop into your head, let's say that you're at work and you say something stupid and embarrassing and you think, oh, I'm so awkward, say, no, I'm not. Replace the belief. Everybody says dumb stuff sometimes. You're not an awkward, shy person. Let's say the belief is I'm ugly and unattractive to women, right? Why that's not true? Because you know that it's not. Here's the thing, man, if you want to be successful in your endeavors, you have to believe in yourself. There's no other way. Think about anybody who ever did anything great and ask yourself, did they believe in themselves? Because if they didn't, they probably wouldn't have done that great thing. They wouldn't have had the confidence, they wouldn't have had the bravery, the courage to go and do that thing. Of course they believed in themselves because belief is what makes things happen. When I first started my business, I thought that I believed in myself. But when I look back, I didn't believe in myself. I didn't believe in what I was doing. And when I see those numbers going up and things like that, I started striving and striving and trying more. I have to do more, I have to work harder, I have to be more. I have to change this, this and that about myself. And I kind of started to drive myself crazy about it, you know? And here's the thing. Success doesn't come from striving either. It comes from believing and letting go. It comes from Having certainty in the thing, so much belief in the thing, that there's no way that it's going to fail. Because what it comes down to, the striving and trying and doing more, that comes from not believing in the thing. You.
[00:10:31] I'm saying I have to strive more, I have to try harder because if I don't, it's not going to work. And another mistake that I made in the beginning of, you know, this business is what I'm talking about, talking to you here today is before I even pushed go on the thing, like if I uploaded an episode or a video or a piece of content, I, I didn't believe in it, I would be like, oh, here goes another one that's going to go nowhere. Even though, you know, I thought that I was striving and trying and believing in the thing, I wasn't. The striving comes from fear. I have to do more. I have to force the thing to work. I have to make the thing. And that might sound kind of ironic because I was teaching at the time how to be confident and how to be successful and all of these things. I was teaching basically the opposite of what I was doing. And I knew the truth. Like I have the wisdom in my head. It's just hard to put it into practice yourself, you know what I'm saying? And so my lack of belief was causing the business to go nowhere. And it wasn't until I decided to believe in myself, believe in the thing, stop striving, stop trying and just let go and trust and be my true, authentic self. Not trying to be anything else or anyone else. When it happened, that's when it started taking off. That's when those numbers rose. That is when I sold more books than I have ever sold in my entire life as a multi published author. That is when I had more numbers on the podcast, more numbers on YouTube, more numbers on my content, everywhere across the board is when I decided to believe in myself, believe in the thing and let go. Because belief and certainty is what makes things happen. And if you don't believe in yourself, nothing is going to go anywhere and you will stay stuck. And a lot of people think that they need to become something else to be confident. And confidence doesn't come from being something that you're not. It comes from being your true authentic self and being okay with who you truly are, being okay with your real self. That is true confidence. And when it comes to striving and trying and wanting to be something else, I'm not saying don't try to be your best self. We should all be striving to be our best selves. But when it comes to confidence and success and self love, success comes from truly believing in yourself, being your authentic self, and being okay with who you are. If you think that a day is going to come where you're this perfect version of yourself and then you have the permission to believe in yourself and be confident that day is never going to come and you will always be striving and trying for that. So you hear me preach all the time about striving to be your best self, being fully optimized, being a little bit better every single day. But like with this business, like I was just talking about, if letting go meant just not working, then I wouldn't be here talking to you today. Letting go doesn't mean stopping, stopping, improving, stopping, getting better. Letting go means not striving and trying out of fear and discipline, belief in yourself and the thing. So maybe striving isn't the word, but you still put in the work, you still put in the reps, and you still get optimized. You're just not doing it from a place of fear and lack. Getting fully optimized in your life, mind, body and spirit can't come from a place of self hate. You know what I'm saying? Believe in yourself, be okay with who you are, and then get optimized in your life. And like I said before, true confidence comes from being your true authentic self, not trying to be something else. And you know, when you meet someone or when you, you like, let's say you watch a piece of content online, you can tell who the fakers are and you can tell who the people are that are authentic, right? And you're usually more attracted to the people who are real and authentic. Those people resonate better. The people who are just trying and faking and putting on a fake Persona, those are the people you're like, ah, this is kind of cringy. I don't know, something feels off about this. I don't really want to watch this guy's content anymore. Same is true in real life. If you go out faking confidence and faking that you're, you know, the big bad dude and tough guy or suave dude or whatever, and that's not who you truly are. People are going to pick up on, on that right away. And what's even worse is, you know, you're faking it and you're not going to feel good about that. True confidence comes from authenticity, being yourself. And there won't come a day when you will have permission to feel confident and love yourself. If that is what you are seeking. That day will never come. Now let's go back for a minute to when I was talking about getting fully optimized in your life. Self improvement, you know what I'm saying? Being your best self will build confidence. Let's say that you've always wanted to get in shape. You've always wanted to get ripped and fit. Hey, I want to get get ripped and fit too by the way.
[00:14:43] If you are pursuing that and if you are headed in that direction and if, if you are becoming that person, if you are getting in shape, you're losing weight, you're getting ripped and fit, that is going to build your confidence. Let's say that you want to work on your mindset, your mental health and things like that. You want to feel better spiritually and mentally. That is going to build your confidence. Self improvement and getting optimized in every aspect of your life, mind, body and spirit will build your confidence. If you are seeking to be a more confident person, work on yourself. Another thing is, and I of mentioned this in a couple ways before, but believing in yourself will amplify your success because belief is what makes things happen. If you don't believe in yourself, if you don't believe in the things that you're doing, those things are going to go nowhere. You are going to go nowhere. You have to believe. You have to have certainty in the thing you have to believe and have certainty in yourself. Think of someone right now. Think of any successful person, famous person, somebody that you look up to, you know, somebody who really made it, who do you admire? Put that picture of that person in your head and ask yourself when he or she got started, when they first put, put their first thing out there, whatever it was, did they say, oh, that's gonna suck? I guess that's gonna go nowhere because I'm awkward and shy and nobody likes me and I'm unattractive and all these negative things that we regular people tell ourselves every day. And if they had felt that way and said those negative things, would you even know who they are? Probably not dude. Like they, the people who succeed in this lives are the people who decided to believe in themselves and love themselves regardless of how anyone thought about it, felt about it, how they felt about themselves. They had to do their own internal work. Maybe they were just blessed, really confident from the get go and everybody their whole lives told them you are this and you're going places. That does happen Sometimes. But fact of the matter is, they believed in themselves. Did they probably have a few insecurities like we all do. Sure, that's natural. But what I'm saying is you have to believe in the thing. You have to believe in yourself or it's going to go nowhere. If you want to succeed in your endeavors, if you want to succeed in life, if you want to succeed in your relationships, your friendships, your career, literally every.
[00:16:45] You have to have confidence, believe in yourself, and be okay with your true, authentic self. Belief is everything. Like I said 20 times in this episode, because I'm trying to get it in your head, belief is everything. Belief is how things happen. Don't wait to be the guy. Be the guy right now. There's not going to come a day where you become the guy and you're like, oh, now I'm the guy. Now I can be happy and confident. Now I can believe in myself. Now I feel good about me. Be the guy right now. And then you will see. See everything in your life fall into place. Everything start to work out. All of your success start to rise because you are the guy. You, you know, you're not waiting to be the guy. You're not striving or trying to be the guy. You're not trying to be something that you're not. You just are the guy. And then everything else falls into place with that. And so here's the thing, man, time is ticking. The clock is ticking. The years are going by. You need to stop being a wuss and get out there and do what you want to do in your life. Whose life is it? Yours. And you have one of them. So don't waste it. I implore you, I beg you, even, do not waste your life. What's the thing that you want to do right now? What do you want to be successful in? What do you want to be known for when you're gone? What is your lineage and your legacy and your inheritance? What are you leaving behind? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you or the thing that you're doing or what you're pursuing or what you want to do or who you want to be. The people who don't like you, the real, true, authentic you, the one that decides to be confident and believe in themselves. The people who don't like that guy, they're not for you anyways. And they need to, you know, get out of your life. And if anybody has a problem with you being you, say, this is who I am, and if you don't like it, get Lost. Because here's the thing, man. It is okay to be confident. It is okay to believe in yourself. Actually, it's very beautiful to do that. Trust me, as someone who decided to do that, as someone who decided to not care what the haters think, not care what anybody thinks, you know, as someone who actually went for my dreams and I'm now achieving them, I can tell you with absolute confidence and certainty that deciding to be yourself, deciding to go for the thing, what you want in this life, will pay off for you more than anything else. And you are awesome. And you are the. It's your life and nobody else's. So do not care what people think about you. And that exercise that I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, don't forget to do that. Write those two columns, find those false beliefs that you have about yourself, and then prove to yourself that they're not true. 10 to 20 of them. And that will be the starting point to transforming your mindset. And another thing I want to say here, man, if you're worried about being the weirdo, notice how the. The best people, the most successful people, the most dominant people in any industry, in any space, are the authentic weirdos. Anybody that you look up to in any space, take them out of that position and just put them as just a regular person that you meet somewhere. And you'd be like, dang, that person's a little bit quirky and weird, right? Something wrong with that guy. All the best people are the awkward weirdos, man. They. They're just the ones who decided to believe in themselves and go for the. The thing. Embrace your true, authentic self and watch your success take off like never before. So that's what I got for you guys today. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. I wasn't really sure what to do with my hands the whole time. I was doing a lot of weird, awkward stuff with my hands because usually I'm holding a microphone. I have this new microphone, boom arm thing right here. And I was like, just, what. What do I do with my hands? Like Talladega Nights, you know? But, yeah. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for watching and listening. I hope that you got something out of this episode. I hope this episode inspired you in some way to level up in your life. If it did, definitely let me know in the comments or an email or something like that. I love hearing from you guys. Now get out there and do it. Kill it. Level up every aspect of your life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you. On the other side of you deciding to make the switch, make the change and level up every aspect of your life. You are going to do great things in this life. You listening to this right now? A life of overflowing abundance awaits you. I love you. I'm proud of you. Have a good week, guys, and I'll catch you on the next one. Thank you. Bye.
