Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Your marriage feels like it's falling apart because you got too comfortable. You lost sight of the vision and the mission. You lost sight of who you are as a man and as a lover. If you really think about it, you're no longer the man she married at all. It's time to get out of comfort and mediocrity and reclaim your life. Working for the weekend, watching sports, drinking beer, those things are not going to get you there. January 1st, thousands of men all over the world are embarking on a journey to level up their marriages in every aspect of their lives. My question for you is, are you ready to transcend your your own? That's what we're talking about today on the Warrior Kings podcast. Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings Podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man. Again, welcome welcome to the Warrior Kings Podcast. If it's your first time here, my name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, artist and entrepreneur, husband and father of five. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives. So hey, if that's something you're into, definitely subscribe to this channel. Subscribe to this podcast because that's what what we do here every week inspire men all over the world to be total badasses. We're just a couple of weeks out from the launch of my new book, Warrior Husband, how to be a better husband and save your marriage. But before that, I want to refresh on some of the concepts that we've covered already here on the podcast about marriage and how to make your marriage thrive and how to find that true connection and romance with your wife. Ultimately, how to be a better husband and save your marriage. So if you've listened to my episodes on how to be a better husband, this episode is going to be kind of a refresher course on some of the main content concepts in those episodes. And for those of you who haven't heard those episodes, this is going to be the first time that you hear these concepts and I hope they ignite a spark in your life that ultimately reignites the flame in your marriage with your beautiful wife. So let's dive right into it. The first thing I want to refresh on today is one of the foundational concepts in my work and what I believe is one of the key pieces to leveling up every aspect of your life as a man. And that is the importance of listening.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: If you've read my book Warrior King, you know how important I think listening is. As men, we sort of train our ourselves over time not to listen. Especially when the thing that we're listening to is about the mundane tasks of life and kind of boring stories and stuff like that, from a lack of a better way to say it. And it's our nature as men to decide what information is practically useful and what isn't. And that's why this happens. But when it comes to not listening in your marriage, that is a huge misstep and can cause all sorts of problems. Dude, you might have even heard before. If you've been married for a while, you never listen to me. If you want to level up your marriage, you need to start listening and listening. Listening intently. Train yourself to listen when your wife is speaking. Anytime she's speaking, no matter what she's speaking about, train yourself to listen. Retrain yourself to listen. You know, when she's talking, look into her eyes. Give her an indication that you are listening to her. React to what she's saying with your expressions. Now, if you haven't been listening for a while, she might wonder what's gotten into you and why you're suddenly being so attentive. But trust me, she's going to appreciate it. Now. When I started dating my now wife, she had been in a long relationship too, that was less than desir. And I remember she pointed out one time she said, wow, you actually listen to me. I'm not used to that. And it's interesting that she pointed that out because I was making such a point to listen to her and listen intently and look into her eyes when she was speaking and react to what she was saying and actually respond and not say, wait, what? What did you say? And that's because the mistake that I made in my previous relationships that were nightmare relationships, I never listened to anything that they were saying. It's like on Dumb and Dumber when Harry is going on about his ex girlfriend or something and he's like, I don't know, something about not listening to her enough or something. I don't know, I wasn' paying attention. Don't be hairy from Dumb and Dumber. Women want to be heard. They want to know that you're listening to them. And when you start to listen and listen intently, your marriage and your relationship will just level up and grow. And there are all sorts of benefits to this, trust me. And pro tip here, just keep a running note in your phone of things that she mentions that she would like to Have One time, I bought my wife a curling iron. I don't know nothing about curling irons, but I knew that she said that she wanted one. And I know that women oftentimes won't buy these things for themselves. And a holiday came along, and I consulted my sister, who is a hair professional on curling irons, and I bought her one as a gift. The benefit to this is I was actually listening to her because when she had said it was so far back and I remembered that she wanted it, and I took note of the fact that she still didn't have one and she hadn't bought one. So not only is it a super awesome gift because it's something that she wanted, but also it's a super awesome gift because I actually cared. I took the time to listen to her and the things that she actually wanted, and I went out of my way to go and get that thing for her. You understand what I'm saying? So that's just a little tip there for you. But I definitely want you to realize how much you. You haven't been listening to your wife when she's speaking and how much you should start listening to your wife when she's speaking. Listen to everything that she says. Be fully present. And even if you're not, if you can't be, you got way too much on your mind. You need to at least be acting like you're listening. Look her in the eyes, react to what she's saying, respond to her, don't make her feel like you're not listening to her. But definitely, definitely start to listen to your wife. And back to that thing about the gifts. When she receives that gift from you that you took note of weeks or months before, she will say, wow, he really listens to me. And that is super special to a woman. Trust me.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: One of the main issues that women have when they feel like their marriage is falling apart is they feel like their man never listens. You not listening to her isn't interpreted as you have a lot going on. It's interpreted as you don't care. So make a point to listen. And the next thing I want to refresh on today is the importance of your wife being your best friend and you being hers and actually hanging out again.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: Put your phone away and just sit with your wife and talk to her. Talk to her like when you were dating. Be funny like you did when you were dating her. And most importantly, like we talked about, first, listen to her when she speaks. Have conversations, hang out. Be her friend. I've heard that Most couples struggle to make a point to just ask how their partner's day went. Like that's an actual exercise that marriage counselors have couples do is ask them how their day went. Also, the expert advice says that married couples should spend at least two hours a week together, which I think is totally crazy. You want more than that for your marriage? Trust me. Me and my wife hang out every day. It takes a while. We have a lot of children because of all that intimacy that I talked about before. It's usually in the late evening, but we get there and hang out every day for a couple to a few hours. And we're talking, we're having fun, we're having conversations, we're talking about crazy conspiracy theories or UFOs or joking around and laughing, watching funny movies, playing games. And I'm not here to brag or boast. I'm just letting you know that I'm in a happy, thriving marriage. And hanging out all the time is one of the ways to make that possible. Like what is committing to spend your entire life with a person for if you're not even going to talk to them or hang out with them or even be their friend? So that's just what I wanted to say is start hanging out again, make a point to hang out at least a little bit every day. And I know that everybody has different lifestyles and different dynamics and that sort of stuff. I know that people are very busy and some dynamics, both people are grinding non stop 24 hours a day, pursuing their dreams. But you have to set aside time, no matter what your situation looks like, to hang out with your wife. Absolutely. If you want to have a happy marriage, if you want to level up your marriage, if you want to level up your intimacy with your wife, if you want to be in love with her and have a thriving romance with her, you have to hang out with her. That's just what it comes down to.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: One of the huge debates in these modern times that were living in is should men lead in a relationship and lead in their household? And if you've been here for a while, you will know that my answer to that question is yes, definitely. But a man leading in his marriage isn't what most people make it out to be. It's actually much simpler than that. And it has the power to transform your marriage and your life.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Leading your household is more subtle than you'd think. Leading is not loud, bossy or demanding. And I think that where a lot of this misconception about men leading their homes, leading their families, Leading their households, leading their wives comes from is unfortunately from there's a lot of in the world. It's just a hard fact. There are guys that are loud and demanding and mean. But the leading that I'm talking about is more subtle. It's things that you do to show your wife your strength, to show that she is secure in your life, to show that you are taking care of her. And that's what I'm going to be talking about. This modern society sort of tells us that leading our household, leading our families, and leading our wives is somehow wrong. We're also not taught how to lead our families and lead our households or what that even means. Means how much does your wife have to worry about when it comes to the management of your lives? Does she call to make all of the appointments? Does she handle all of the finances? Is she managing your whole life? For you see, the thing about women, no matter what society or the world tells us about them, they want to feel your strength. They want to know that they're being taken care of. And this can be done in subtle ways that will build her trust for you as a man, as a strong man. Being that life is so comfortable now in this modern setting, you don't have to go out and hunt anymore. You don't have to fight off invaders to your vill. You understand what I'm saying? Providing takes place out of sight, out of mind, and mostly on your banking app. When in any time in history before this point, it would have been very evident. It would have been very out in the open how you were providing, how you were being a strong man. Because if you weren't a strong man, you and your family would have died. It would have just come down to that. You would have been out hunting, you would have been fighting off invaders to your village. You would have been openly, invisibly doing all of the difficult things to lead your family, protect your family, and to make sure that they had a good life, that they were secure in their life life. And like I said, now, this sort of stuff is out of sight, out of mind. It's way more subtle. It's harder to recognize. But even still, on an innate level, women want to feel that strength. They want to feel your strength as their man and as their husband. A woman's desire for a strong provider and protector is innate. And like I said, that's because any time before this comfortable modern point in history, you would have had to have been a strong man to protect her, to provide for her, to make sure that she didn't die, you understand? And that's why there's this need for security. Women want security. And while that means something totally different now, when we express that in a different way in this life, in this modern life, the woman's desire for that security and for that protection and for that you providing is still there. And in this modern time, in marriages and in relationships, one of the main things that couples fight about is money and finances. It's one of the main stressors in relationship. One of the ways that you can solve this dilemma is by taking over the finances yourself and managing them well. If your wife is having to figure out how to pay the bills and how to budget all by herself, and if you never even look at the bank account, this will chip away at your relationship and erode her trust for your strength when it comes to leading her and providing for her. And providing for her isn't always in a monetary way. It doesn't just have to do with money. You're providing for her with your leadership and your masculine training traits. The people who buck up against this sort of thing because they can only see life through this one lens, this modern lifestyle, they've never known anything else. And they say it's not a man's duty to lead and provide for his wife and his household anymore. They can only see this modern way of living. And a huge error there is that they don't consider human psychology in their approach to life and their relationships. Not only their relationships with their wives, but their relationships to everything in life. And when I say the psychology behind everything, I'm talking about her desire for a strong provider, a strong leader, someone who's going to take care of her. Someone that ensures the success of their family and their household in their future. Because like I said, the desire for that is innate, whether she knows it or not. Now, is she constantly judging you for not handling business? Probably not. Does she say to herself, he's not handling the finances or managing anything, so he's not a strong protector or provider? No, probably not. This is all subconscious. This is all innate. And a hard truth is, if she's having to handle everything in life by herself and even manage your life life, what need does she have for you? You can tell me that I'm wrong if you wish. But let me ask you one simple question. Do women want security? It's a very basic question and a very common one. And if your answer is no, you're very lost, my friend. Like I said, the security comes subtly and it comes from you handling Business and managing life. She doesn't have to worry about a thing because you got it. Her knowing that you got it gives her peace and security. She can feel your strength. She can feel that she is protected. Does your wife have to call and make all the appointments for herself, you, the K kids, whoever it is? Perhaps she said that she needed to call the utility company to figure something out, some discrepancy on the bill or something like that, or she needs to call the bank or the doctor or whatever it is. Do you ever step in and say, don't worry about it, I got this. This is another way that you can show your strength and your ability to lead her and manage your lives. You got it. You're taking care of everything. You're handling it. You're going to make the calls. Of course you don't want to call. She doesn't either. Now, I know because I've been there before that some of you have anxiety about this sort of thing. Calling places to make appointments or manage life or manage bills and finances. And that sort of thing gives you anxiety. It makes you nervous. You don't want to call. But I promise you that once you step up and step in and start doing these things, it gets easier and easier. All you have to do is dial the number, push, go talk to the person, or wait on hold forever. Because that's how things go these days. You just do it. You just get it done. You step out and you get it done. That's how you do it. You just go for it. And like I said, she doesn't want to be doing that thing either. And if you step in and do it, you're showing your strength. You're showing that you're handling it. You're showing that you are taking care of her, that you're managing life. It's subtle, and it's a very subtle way of leading your household, leading your relationship, leading your wife, and leading your marriage. And in the end, once you start doing these things and handling life, handling business, managing your household, it's very liberating. You will feel strong doing these things. One thing that you need to remember when it comes to this is that she's your wife. She's not your mom. She's not there to make your appointments and take care of you. You're there to take care of her. You're there to take care of each other. But when it comes to the management of the logistics and complexities of life, you're there to take care of her. Call to make the appointment, handle the money and handle it well. Handle the complexities of the logistics of life. Trust me, bro, watch your marriage start to thrive.
[00:14:03] Speaker A: Heavy stuff, man. I know, but you need to get fully optimized and take control of your life. In other words, it's time to grow up. Junior. One thing that I really want to refresh on today is the importance of you presenting your best self every day. Presenting your best self every day to enhance the connection with your wife and your intimacy with her. But this also enhances the respect that you command in your life. Life. You can't get to where you want to go, and you can't be who you want to be if you keep living like a loser. Let's dive into it.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Two people start dating when they start courting, when they first start seeing each other, they sort of put on a show. You want to present your best self, right? You want to kind of not reveal everything right away. You want to be this dreamy, handsome person, right? You want to be charming and funny and witty and flirty and things like that. And when you go to hang out with that person that you're dating, you dress your best self, you know, you make sure your clothes are nice. You make sure that you look well. You understand what I'm saying? And we want to present our best selves. We want to be clean and put together. We want to be attractive and desirable. And as time goes on, especially when we begin living with our ladies, for example, things get a little more familiar and you begin to get to know each other on a whole another level, you begin getting more comfortable, right? A lot of the true self begins to reveal itself, and this just comes naturally. And this might sound dumb and embarrassing at first, but the question that I want to ask you today is, and stick with me here, because there's more to it than this. And I'll. I'll try to be discreet here. Do you fart in front of your wife? Maybe it's even a totally comfortable thing in your marriage, in your home, and in your relationship for a lot of people. Maybe it's even a family joke. Maybe you laugh about it together all the time. I'm very aware that that's a thing, and I'm not condemning you here in any way. This is going to make sense in a minute. And a lot of you might say, men burp and fart. It's just what we do. It's just how it is. Sure, fine. But it goes deeper than that. When people first start seeing each other, there's this intriguing mystery about that person, you don't really fully know them yet. We sort of put that person on a pedestal. We're infatuated with them. And that goes both ways. In a relationship for both the man and the woman, we see each other as this, like, perfect person that we're enamored with. Oh, my gosh, they're so beautiful. They're so amazing. I want to know more about this person. There's so much mystery here. I just want to dive in and know everything about this person. Right? And when it comes to her perception of you, especially in those beginning stages, at one point you were that dreamy, handsome, mysterious guy. Otherwise, she wouldn't have given you the time of day, right? And as your relationship goes on, the other person becomes more and more human. The layers of that mystery start to shed away. Like I said before, a good way to put it is that person becomes more and more human to you. The true self is revealed more and more. Which is one of the reasons why I say it's very important to know that that person is the one and that you love them, everything about them, no matter what, before you even get married. But we've talked about that in previous episodes, so I'm not going to get too much into that right now. But if you're not married yet and you're just in a relationship, definitely know that person is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and that nothing about them irritates or annoys you, etc. Before you get married, you definitely want to know that that is a lifelong commitment. It's not like dating in relationships. It's not temporary. You're not supposed to just be able to bail out anytime you want. So definitely make sure that that person is the right person for you. And I know that many married men listening to this might give you the same advice, especially if they're here to learn how to level up their marriage with their wives. Listening this series, if you don't make sure that everything is 100 and squared away first, you can end up in a miserable situation. And I don't want that for you. And as you grow in your relationship, as you get more and more comfortable with each other, a huge mistake that so many people make is you end up letting it all go. You let yourself go, letting it all hang out, right? And sometimes this happens later on, and sometimes it happens right after the wedding because the job is finished, right? The work is done. You've locked them in. There's nobody to impress anymore. They're Yours now. And I'm right there with you in this. And that's how I know these things in a lot of ways. This is me when I first started dating my wife. And then this is me after she started feeding me three meals a day. And I know that some of you might say I should be able to be myself. Absolutely, man. But you can be yourself. You can be your true, authentic self without choosing to present yourself as a lazy slob who doesn't take care of himself in any way. But people want to lay around in their pajamas all day long every time that they're home with their wife, burp and fart and scratch wherever, show their dark side a little too often. And then they wonder why their relationship is dying, why their intimacy is dead, and why divorce rates are higher than they've ever been. And that's for many reasons. But it is my belief that this plays a huge part in that bigger picture. And if you think that I'm just talking about burping and farting, you are definitely missing that whole big picture. And not understanding that big picture could be a huge part of why you're lacking in your marriage. What's wrong, man? I just can't seem to get my life together, dude. You should read my book, Warrior King. It's packed full of wisdom that I attained over the years to level up my own life as a man. I don't read books, bro. Why does that not surprise me? What? Nothing. But hey, good news. Warrior King has an audiobook now. No way. Yeah, you can listen to it anywhere. It's on Amazon. And audible. Whoa. Get your together today with the Warrior King audiobook by Michael Riggs. Then I can learn the ways of the Warrior King. You can, my son.
[00:19:12] Speaker A: Then I can be cool like you.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: So I gotta ask you, how do you present yourself to your wife every day, on a daily basis? Basis. Do you get up and wash up and get ready for your day or in your home time when you're at home? Or you're presenting yourself as a lazy slob because there's nothing to get dressed up for. I really hope this is giving you.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Some insight and some inspiration. It's all kind of starting to make sense, isn't it? We've been sold many lies about marriage, what it is and what it means. That's why none of us know how to marriage. We're not taught these things before we go into it. But if you want to expand on this journey and level up your marriage, I have a bunch of episodes here on the podcast. That you can go back and listen to. The clips we listen to today are from those episodes and I get into a lot more topics on those episodes and I'm putting everything that I know about marriage and relationships into my new book, Warrior Husband. And thousands of guys all over the world are diving into that book on January 1st, kicking off the year, right? To level up every aspect of our lives and our marriages. And yes, you're right. I'm just trying to sell you something here because I actually care about you and your marriage and I want you to learn how to make it thrive like never before. If you want to get a copy of that book, there's a link for it in the description of this podcast episode. Or you can search search up Warrior Husband by Michael Riggs.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: The ebook is up for pre order.
[00:20:29] Speaker A: Right now, so you can get it delivered to your kindle app on January 1, and the physical copy will be available to order on January 1st. If you prefer an actual book. But listen, man, the time is now. The time is now to level up every aspect of your life. We're going into a new year, 2025, and I know that there's a huge stigma around people having New Year's resolutions and stuff like that and doing them for a couple of months and then falling out of them or whatever. But honestly, a new year is a time to reset, restart, go after new things, have new dreams, new ambitions. Say, this is the year for me, and I truly believe that it is the year for you. This is the big one. Have some New Year's resolutions, man. There's nothing wrong with that. Just make sure that you stick to them. There are great things in store for you in this life. I truly believe that a life of overflowing abundance awaits you as soon as you make the decision to cross that line and get started on fully optimizing your life. It's only up from here, bro. There's nowhere else to go. We're not going down. We're only going up. I really, truly believe that. And we're in this together. We're doing it together. I'm on my way up too, bro. And when you get there, when you get to the top, let me know that I helped you along your way on this journey. Because nothing means more to me in the world than helping you in your life, helping you optimize your life, helping you discover what it means to be a good, honorable man. That's my mission, to teach that to as many men as possible all over the world. I love you. I'M proud of you and you are going to do great things in this life. A great destiny awaits you. There is a purpose and a calling for your life. Never forget that. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for the growth on the podcast.
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Thank you for all the pre orders.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: On the new book. Thank you for everybody who got a copy of Warrior King. I hope it reshapes and changes your life and your mindset. And I'll catch you guys on the next one. Thanks guys.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Bye.
