Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] When a woman seems distant, disinterested, or seems to have shut down in a relationship, many men put the blame on her. What's going on? Is she seeing somebody else? Does she hate me? It's a man's nature to try and fix something when it's broken and get to the source of the brokenness. But what if it's much simpler than that? What if the problem, the thing that needs fixing is much closer and much simpler than you would think? That's what we're talking about today on the Warrior Kings podcast. Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to wish assists you on your journey to living a fully optimized life as a man. So again, welcome. Welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. It's good to be here today. It's good to talk to you today. If you're new here, my name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, artist and entrepreneur, husband and father of five. And I say all of the things that most men don't want to hear. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives. So if that's something you're into, definitely stick around. Subscribe to this podcast. Subscribe to the YouTube channel. Get involved. And speaking of getting involved, make sure you guys go and sign up for that mailing list. List the newsletter. It's going to be coming out every week. It's down in the description of this podcast episode or this video. If you're on the video version. Get signed up for that mailing list for weekly content on how to level up your life, how to live a fully optimized life as a man. I'm going to be sending tons of extra content on there and I want it in your hands. And this week, this Friday in that mailing list, I'm going to be sending out my top five free things that you can do right now to begin leveling up your life. These are things that anybody can start doing right away. And like I said, I will be sending that email out this Friday. And today we're going to be talking about when a relationship goes cold or when a marriage goes cold. And when a woman seems to detach from the relationship or the marriage and kind of shuts off, isn't really interested in intimacy anymore, isn't really interested in conversation either. She just kind of gets cold and closes in on herself and detaches. Right? And I'm going to give you a little bit of insight into why that happens, why that is and what you can do to fix it if this has happened to you. And what gives me the credentials to talk about such a thing? Well, a while back, my life fell apart. I was with a lady for 10 years and we had two daughters together. And I did all of the wrong things in that relationship. Before that relationship, I was a serial relationship or like, I had more girlfriends than I can count. I dated and had relationships since as long as I can remember when I was very, very young. Right. But in that very long relationship, I did all of the wrong things and that ended terribly. She ended up moving out and taking my daughters with her. And it was at that point that I decided to look inward instead of putting the blame on her. And I decided that I needed to learn what it means to be a man, how to level up my life, how to live as an honorable, respectable man instead of a total nightmare, which is exactly what I was. I was a nightmare. So I dove into books, I dove into podcasts, I dove into all of the self improvement content that I could possibly absorb. I got obsessed with it. And that led me now to living my dream life with my dream wife. We have three awesome sons together and those two daughters that I mentioned before, and I couldn't be happier. Our marriage is happy, thriving. We're best friends, and I want that for you. And that self improvement journey that I went on led me to write the book Warrior King, unlocking masculinity, Manliness, and the warrior spirit within, where I put all of the knowledge that I had learned about be being a man in that one book. And that book evolved into the Warrior Kings podcast because I'm constantly learning. I'm like a lifetime learner, and I wanted to expand on what I had learned further. So that's why we're here. That's why I'm talking to you today. The Warrior Kings podcast is based off of and is an expansion of the book Warrior King. And when a woman detaches a little bit in a relationship or seems cold or distant and is kind of disinterested, it makes a lot of men afraid or concerned that they might be on the path to a breakup or a divorce. And you know, they might be. If it's gotten that bad, if it's too late, you could be be on that path. But we're gonna get to fixing that right away, so let's dive right into it. The truth is, women are seeking a life of adventure and progress. You might be able to recall when you first started seeing each Other that you had big plans for the future. You probably had goals and dreams and aspirations. And you probably painted a mental picture for her of a life of adventure and abundance, an adventurous future that awaited her if she were to commit to being with you, or if you were to fully commit to being with her. And somewhere along the line, that vision got skewed because of, well, life, responsibilities, home responsibilities, finances, children, the comforts of life. And many men make the mistake of getting too comfortable with routine. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? It's easy to go to a job every day, come home and relatively relax, watch some sports, drink some beer, play some video games, or watch a show on a streaming service before bed, and then wake up and do it all over again. Every day is a repeat of the last. And somehow it works. It really does. Everything in this world now is readily available and accessible, and worst of all, comfortable. The problem here is that women often don't want to stay in the same place. They want adventure, they want progress. They want you to have ambition. And if you have lost that, which most men do these days, she's gonna lose interest in you a little bit. And it could be that she's even not entirely aware that this is the issue. So if you were to ask her about this, she likely wouldn't know how to answer. She wouldn't know the answer to that question. Or it might just bring her attention to the fact that that is the issue. But the fact of the matter is, this can be a huge problem in relationships. There's this checklist that many men follow, and it's main because they don't have their own personal identity anymore. They watch football and drink beer because they think that that's what they're supposed to do. They act like they like golf because they think that that's what they're supposed to do. And there are people who authentically like these things, so don't come after me. But often I think about the guys at the family get togethers who look like clones of each other and stand in the same stance in front of the tv, watching football with their arm cocked with a beer in their hand, and they're watching this football game that's so much more important than engaging with anyone around them or spending time with their wife and kids and visiting and trust me, dude, your wife doesn't want you to be a clone. She wants you to have a personal identity. And most importantly, she wants you to have goals, aspirations, and ambition. Say I'm wrong and stay in the same place if you want to. That's up to you. Why do you think my book Warrior King sells so many copies? Because most men have it all figured out? No, it's because most men aren't taught these things and they're seeking getting out of the trap that is modern societal expectations and comfort. I've sold more copies of Warrior King than any other book that I've ever written and I sell more copies every week and that's climbing. You have to find your personal identity. You have to step out and do something different. Be something different. Quit following that dumb checklist of things you think boys are supposed to like. Personally, I have never been able to relate to that type of guy. The, you know, the clone of a clone of a clone of a guy who just does what he's supposed to in life. Kind of an NPC type of character. When I was a teenager I toured in hardcore bands. I was a lead vocalist, you know, I did more screaming than singing, but I was a vocalist in hardcore bands. And I've always pursued something in my life, you know, something interesting. Interesting. I worked as an artist for a while, doing paintings and drawings and stuff like that. I worked for a magic website inventing magic tricks for a while. I was a magic content creator, if you can believe that. I spent some time as a filmmaker. I'm a multi published author. I've written fantasy and sci fi as well as non fiction books. And now I'm talking to you here today as a podcaster. That's just a few of the things that I've done in my life and I've done many things. Example, me and my family lived in a school bus conversion for a year. I took a school bus, gutted it out, built a tiny home inside and we lived in that for a year in the wild wilderness. I've never been able to relate to the average guy. I have my own personal identity. You know, I feel like I'm a very interesting person. So what I'm encouraging you to do is to find your personal identity and step into that and be a little more interesting in your life. Do something interesting. Do something with the talents that you've been given. Find your calling and your purpose. Anyway, moving on here, think about the fantasies that women have. You can find them in romance novels and movies more often than not. The guy in the book who is the perfect example of everything that's desirable to a woman has some elements element of adventure and mystery to him and there's some sort of wealth element to fantasize about having a future of abundance and adventure. And there's also always an element of danger. This guy is soft with the main character lady in the story, but there's always a chance that he could be a monster. There isn't a best selling romance novel or movie ever created where the woman falls madly in love with the golf shorts wearing, polo wearing football fan who only knows how to talk about sports stocks and golf, who lays around on the weekends in sweatpants and a T shirt and burps and farts parts and scratches his nuts. And so how do you get out of this trap that you have set for yourself? Well, the answer to that is actually very simple, but it's going to take some work and some effort. You're going to have to decide not to be a little boy anymore and put little boy things away. What you need to do is begin exploring what one, your purpose is and two, your ideal future. A man without a purpose isn't much of a man at all. There must be this higher vision for your life, a higher calling. And you must have a clear vision of the future, your dream life, where you're going. Write all of this down and then determine what steps you need to take to begin moving in that direction. This ambition, these aspirations and these improvements that you will need to make in yourself in order to get there will renew your wife's attraction to you. If it's not too late. One of my favorite excuses is I just don't have time. Life is too busy. Well listen man, if you want to do something, you will make time to do it. And if you don't want to do it, then you will make an excuse. I wake up at 4am every day and work all day long to build my family's future. And I battle against my own laziness and procrastination every day to make shit happen. And why do I go to such lengths to make these things happen? Because I refuse to be mediocre in a sea of mediocre, weak men. And I refuse to give my family an average life that's just good enough. My wife and my kids deserve better than that. So I'm making sacrifices right now in the short term to build massive gains in the long term. Michael, I don't get it. What does all this mean? One of the main killers of marriages that nobody talks about is a lack of shared goals and progress. If she feels like you have turned into a dead end, she will see that dead end and she will long for a day where she isn't headed there with you. And it's not just about impressing your wife either. You should want to better yourself. You should want to have a calling and a purpose and pursue it relentlessly. Your wife getting turned on by this is just a bonus. The next thing I want to talk about today is appreciation and your wife possibly feeling underappreciated. But if you want to expand further on the subjects of pursuing your life's purpose instead of succumbing to the comforts of life in order to level up your marriage, make sure you check out my episode titled before your marriage falls apart. Listen to this. Hey guys, I'm cutting in here really quick before we continue. I get questions from men all the time in messages and emails and comments. And while I would love to cover all of those questions in detail, these days, my life is very busy and I've reached a point where my time is very limited. So for those of you that need those questions answered, I had the idea of offering a personalized package for the month of November 2024 only where I will answer five specific questions that you have in a personalized video in the format of these podcast episodes that is just for you. And I'm not just trying to sell you on something here. I really want to answer those questions for you. Those question that you have about personal growth and development and how to get there, questions about even marriage and relationships. I want to be able to make the time to do that for you. And I'm not going to be answering any ridiculous questions either. This is for the serious ones. So this package will include that video podcast episode that's just for you based on your questions, a transcript of that video for reading, and 30 journal prompts to expand and explore on what you have learned from that video. So you will be able to answer those journal prompts to reflect and expand and take notes and that sort of thing. And just in November 2024. This package is only 500 as of today, making this episode. I have five more spots left for that. So if you want to grab one of those spots, jump on this. I've never seen a coach offer this sort of thing before, but I thought I would just put it out there because like I said, I really want to answer those questions for you guys, those of you who, like you really want to improve in these areas of your life. And you're like, I just don't know how to move forward. I don't know the answer to this question. So if you want those five questions answered directly from me, email me@mrigscontact gmail.com. that's all one word. M r I g g contact gmail.com and there I will be able to connect with you on how we can move forward doing this and to see if this is even a right fit for you. So, yeah, reach out and let me know, man. And let's get back to the episode. When was the last time you made a point to make your wife feel that she was appreciated? Do you thank her for dinner? Do you thank her at all? Do you tell her she's beautiful? This might sound really simple, but one of the reasons that I think that my marriage is so successful and happy and why my wife is so happy, you know, all the time is because I always show her appreciation multiple times per day. You know, I tell her she's beautiful at random times. I hit on her all the time. I thank her for dinner. I thank her for everything. I remind her that she's a great mother and that she's doing a great job. And dude, women thrive on compliments. That's why you'll hear them complimenting each other all the time. Have you ever noticed that women praise each other constantly? Oh, my gosh, I love your hair. Oh my gosh, that outfit looks so amazing. You're rocking a girl, or whatever they say. I don't know what women say these days, but you know what I'm talking about. It's that constant complimenting each other, and that's because they're helping each other grow. That's how women grow. Whereas with us men, we grow by challenging each other and picking, taking on each other and stuff like that. So if you want to nurture your wife, and if you want to nurture her spirit, she needs to feel appreciated and she needs to feel beautiful. She desires to feel beautiful. And if you aren't making her feel these things that she longs to feel, she'll begin longing for them from external sources. And I'm sure you don't want anybody or anything making your wife feel beautiful or appreciated except you, right? Regularly make sure that you make your wife feel one, loved, two appreciated, and three, beautiful. And you will see her light up and shine like you haven't seen in a long time. One thing that I tell people about all the time is how my how to Be a Better Husband series here on the podcast has more plays than any other episode that I've ever put out. And how that's awesome, but also at the same time sad because so many men aren't taught these things. Like Me, for example, I had to learn the hard way when my life fell apart like some of you are doing right now. You know, my ex left and I had to discover what it means to be a man and how to even communicate properly with women. I had to look inside and fix some things. And I studied relationships in communication and intimacy with women before I was even to have a successful relationship. That is now the marriage of my dreams with my dream woman. But it's sad that we aren't taught these things as men and I feel like that's why so many marriages fail these days. So I hope that you are taking all of these messages to heart because it's my mission to help you bro. And if you are really committed, on January 1st we are diving into a whole new challenge together, you and thousands of other men, with my new book, Warrior Husband, how to be a better husband and save your marriage. That book drops January 1st and it's available for pre order right now in ebook on Amazon if you want to get it before anyone el else. And on January 1st, the physical copy will be available to order. So if you want to get it first, if you want to get started January 1st, that ebook will be delivered to your Kindle app January 1st, if you get that pre order. Literally everything that I know about relationships, marriage, communication with women, intimacy with women, and more I put into this one book. So make sure you pre order that ebook or set a reminder in your phone for January 1st to order that physical copy. It's my mission to level up as many marriages as I can in 2025 with this book. And I want you to be a part of that move. Because this is a movement. There are guys all over the place these days, all over the Internet, teaching a false masculinity and giving terrible advice that is leading men astray. And that is not what we're here to do. We are here to build each other up and make our lives fully optimized and better. We're here to be warrior kings. So that's what I got for you guys today. Thank you so much for stopping in and getting this valuable information. I hope that it inspired you in some way to be a better man, to level up your life, to level up your marriage, to show your wife appreciation every day, to find your calling and your purpose. To stop settling for the comforts of life, that everyday routine. Step out and do something extraordinary with your life and watch your marriage level up like you didn't even know was possible. Trust me, it'll turn her on. Women want you to have ambition. They want you to have dreams. They want to see a future of abundance ahead of them. They want to see a life of adventure in front of them. So I'm so glad that I was able to bring that to your attention today. The topic of how to be a better husband and make marriages work is way too complex to put into one podcast episode, but you can expand further with my other episodes on this subject. Tons of valuable information in there. I'm so glad to be getting this book out soon with everything that I've learned in it because I want this information in guys hands. I want marriages to thrive. And last, I'm not buying the lie of the world that marriage is dead. You know, true love still exists. It's a thing. And marriage doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to suck. That's another lie of the world. Like I said 2025, we're leveling up our marriages together and it's going to be super awesome. So spread the word. Get some buddies together. I don't know. I have found that most men are uncomfortable talking to their friends about this sort of thing. But you never know. Maybe one of your dude friends could level with you and be like, you know what? I want to be better too in my life. I think that would be pretty awesome. But I love you. I'm proud of you and you are going to do great things in this life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you as soon as you make the decision to flip the switch, to cross that line and step into everything that you know that you were always meant to be, Everything that you should be, do all the things you already know you should be doing and level up your damn life. And a life of overflowing abundance awaits you. You listening to this right now? I truly believe that. But yeah, man. Thank you guys for listening. I'll catch you on the next one. Thanks guys. Bye.
