Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Most men wait until it's too late to finally make the decision to level up their marriage and the connection with their wives. The hard truth is when she's over it, she's over it. And ideally, you want to make it so that you never reach that place. My name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, entrepreneur, men's personal development and marriage mentor, husband and father of five. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives. So if that's something you're into, definitely stick around. Subscribe to this podcast subscribe to the YouTube channel channel if that's where you're getting it. And today I'm going to share with you the secret key to having a happy, thriving marriage. Stick around. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings Podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man. So again, welcome and welcome back to the Warrior Kings Podcast. It's good to have you here today. It's great to talk to you today. One thing that I want to say just really quick is that if you are reaching out to me for one on one coaching, just be serious and committed. That's all I ask. It is my mission to help you in your life and in your marriage and I'm very committed to doing so. So respect my time. If I lay out a schedule for you, if I tell you what times and days I'm available to get you on a call, lock down a time with me so I can schedule accordingly. It's much more productive for both of us to get you on that call rather than emailing back and forth trying to lock down a time to make it happen. So let's make it happen. And I would love to talk to you, connect with you, find out a bit more about your situation to see if my coaching is a right fit for you. And with that being said, let's dive right into the topic of the day and message titled Better Husband Equals Better Wife. When it comes to relationship and marriage problems, we tend to over complicate things. Especially when two souls that were once close together have lost the connection they once had. We can be more focused on communication and trying to understand, trying to get to the root cause of the problem. And the problem in your perspective that needs to be solved is usually based on the other person directed on the other person, your wife. You might say to yourself, what can I do to make her happy? Or how can I find out what's wrong so I can fix it and make it better. Sometimes this trying to fix things turns into back and forths arguments, unnecessary rants, interrogations and questioning, which only breaks the connection further. And I can tell you for certain that nothing good ever came from a heated argument. And nothing can push a woman further away than a man expressing himself emotionally, trying to get her to understand how he feels. The hard truth is she doesn't want to have to understand how you feel. She doesn't want to have to make you whole as a man. She doesn't want you to fix her. And this might sound a little bit confusing at first, especially with our modern conditioning and people pushing for men expressing their feelings more, but this is an absolute truth. She doesn't want to have to understand how you feel. And this is misinterpreted by men most of the time as the woman being heartless or mean. Many men when their marriage falls apart, say, she ripped my heart out. She's a cold, heartless. Insert expletive. She tore my world apart and didn't even care. And I know that perspective can be painful, but it is a perspective. Have you ever noticed that women sort of shut down and seem to go blank when you're trying to have a heated discussion and expressing yourself more than you should? Have you ever been frustrated when she disconnected and didn't seem to want to express herself back? Have you ever felt like that meant that she doesn't care or care how you feel? Why is that? It's not that she doesn't care. And it's not that she doesn't understand how you feel. It's because she can't stand to witness you being weak when you are supposed to be her rock, you are supposed to be her protector, you are supposed to be unmovable, unshakable. And instead of being unmoveable, immovable and unshakable, you are falling apart for her. And if you are falling apart for her, you will fall apart for anything. And if you will fall apart for anything, she isn't safe, protected and provided for. And if she's not safe, protected and provided for, then she can't be in her feminine energy. And if she can't be in her feminine energy, then the polarity in the relationship is broken. And last week we got into polarity and what that means. So after this episode, if you don't know what I'm talking about when I say the polarity is broken, definitely go and listen to that episode as well. It's massively important. So so like I said, if she can't be in her feminine energy, the polarity in the relationship is broken. You are no longer her warrior and you are no longer her king. It's not that she doesn't care how you feel. It's that she doesn't want to have to care how you feel. She just wants to trust your strength and your certainty as a man. If you don't have certainty and direction, then she can't have certainty in life and certainty in your clear direction. So better husband equals better wife. What does that mean? It means it starts with you. You have to be whole. You have to be optimized first. It means that the better you get in every aspect of your life, the more your relationship and marriage will thrive. The idea is to optimize self. Instead of looking at external circumstances and situations and trying to figure out what's wrong with her or what's going on in her head or how to fix her. Let me ask you something. If you were to level up every aspect of your life and become the best possible version of yourself that you can be, is your life gonna suck after that? It's a simple question. If you optimize every aspect of your life and become the best you that you can be, will your life suck after that? If you were to level up every aspect of your life and become the best possible version of yourself that you can be, is your wife's perception of you going to be the same as it is right now? Or will she start to see you a bit differently? What if instead of focusing on fixing your relationship and your marriage, you focused on optimizing yourself and being the best you that you can be in your life, including the way that you interact and communicate with her as a strong, honorable man. And then your marriage leveling up and getting better than ever before was just a result of that naturally fascinating concept. Some light bulbs are going off here. What if you learned what it means to be a man and fully embodied the masculine and allowed her to relax into the feminine and trust your wholeness of self and your direction? Would you need to express your feelings and go to couples therapy? She will mirror your energy when you are whole and optimized mind, body and spirit, by you looking within and working on yourself first, you allow her space to explore and embody her true self. She can trust your strength, your direction, your groundedness. Looking within and optimizing self is the secret key to a happy, thriving marriage as well as success in all things in life. Let's go back to that Question I asked before, if you became the best possible version of yourself that you could be, would your life suck after that or would it be exponentially better? You see, most men don't look within when they're having problems, when they're facing challenges and adversity in life, they don't look within, they don't optimize self, they don't see how can I get better? That's very rare. It takes a wise man to to do that or a wise man to tell you that you need to do that. Most men point the blame at everyone and everything else except themselves. It's a natural reaction. Of course it's not your fault, bro. You're a perfect angel, right? As soon as you look within, as soon as you decide to optimize self, everything in your life, including your marriage and your relationship and your connection with your life will get massively better. Because you see, man, the truth is it's not going to get better. As the guy you are right now, it doesn't make any sense. Otherwise you wouldn't have any problems in your marriage, you wouldn't have any problems in your life. Everything would be great. You have transform self first, then everything else will follow, including the connection with your wife. Most guys, when their marriage falls apart, they decide to change too late. And when she's done, when she's over it, she's over it. And there's no going back. Very rarely it goes back. And then when the breakup or the divorce happens, the man has two options. He can either succumb to the darkness or he can decide to level up his life like never before. I mean, are you going to wait for the breakup or the divorce to become the best version of yourself and level up your life? Or are you going to do that right now? That's really what it comes comes down to. You're not going to fix your marriage or fix your relationship by talking about your feelings, expressing yourself, trying to get her to understand how you feel. It's only going to get better by transformation and transformation of self, becoming the best possible version of yourself that you can be. That's what you can control. You can't control her feelings, you can't control what she's thinking. You can't control what she's doing or what she wants to do. You can't force her to fall back in love with you. What you can control is optimizing yourself, mind, body and spirit and allowing everything else to fall into place, everything else to follow that, everything else in your life to work out miraculously, it will seem, because you are so optimized in your life, your life can't suck after that. It's impossible. And especially if you think your life in your situation sucks right now, then it's time to start making a change. Look within, Work on yourself first. Don't make the mistake of deciding to change too late. Because that happens so often when everything falls apart. You hit panic mode and it's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm going to change everything. I'm going to get better. I. I realize now. I realize all the problems. I realize the problems with myself. I can change. Let's fix this. Let's make it work. Don't let it get to that point. Change first. Optimize first. Become the best possible version of yourself that you can be first. Then the connection, then the intimacy, then the love will follow. So here's what I want you to do. Starting right now and over the coming days, over the next week, I want you to commit to no longer expressing yourself emotionally. Stepping into the feminine, trying to get her to understand how you feel. No more arguments, no more discussions, no more back and forths. If she decides that she wants to have a discussion, an argument, or a back and forth. If she starts expressing herself, I want you to stay grounded. I want you to stay calm and reserved. I want you to stay stoic, even. I want you to listen to her, truly listen to her, and allow her to feel heard and understood. Because that's what the feminine craves, being heard, being understood. The feminine has emotional storms, expressive chaos. That doesn't mean that you, as the masculine, have to step into that role as well. Like I said, no good ever came from a heated argument or a heated discussion. So what I want you to do is stay reserved, stay calm. Allow her to feel heard. Once she is fully heard, once she has fully expressed herself, I want you to acknowledge that you understand and not in a cheesy way, do it in a manly way. You know what I'm saying? Thank her for expressing how she feels. Say, I understand, I get it. But ideally, we don't want to have any discussions, any back and forths, any arguments. That's done. Starting right now, today. Then, now that you have committed to doing that, I want you to get a piece of paper or, or your journal or a notebook. And we've done this before if you've been here for a while. But I want you to write out the vision for your ideal future self, who you want to be, if you were the best possible version of yourself that you can be, let's say you want to be ripped and fit, you want to be super rich, you want to be more manly, you want to be more masculine, you want to be more calm, reserved, successful, good at communicating, whatever all of those traits are of your ideal future self, the ideal version of yourself, you're fully optimized self. I want you to write that out trait by trait on a piece of paper. It might take a couple pieces of paper, but just write out the vision for your ideal self. And then I want you to determine what steps you need to take to begin moving in that direction, becoming that person, fully embodying that person, and becoming him today. And then I want you to take action on that. I want you to fully commit to leveling up every aspect of your life. And once you start doing this, you will see that everything else falls into place. It really does start with you. That's not just a cool sounding thing that motivational speakers say. It does start with you. Everything does. The success of everything in your life starts with you. Look within as the wise man does, and show her that you are unshakable, you are unmovable. Nothing can throw you off course, nothing can make you crumble, nothing can piss you off. You are so whole and so free in yourself that nothing can move you. Let's say she makes a dumb comment just to jab at you, to see how you're gonna react. Don't react. You don't need her approval and validation for who you are. That's the truth. And that benefits her as well. I'm not saying that like you don't need her approval and validation. She can go, you know, whatever. I'm saying it benefits her that you don't need her approval and her validation. You are strong, you are whole, you are grounded, you are still no matter what. That makes her feel safe, that makes her feel cared for, that makes her feel nurtured. You are the protector and the provider and she can relax into her feminine and express her feminine freely. And you are so busy optimizing your life and leveling up your life that you don't even have time to talk about your feelings. And when you are focused on self improvement, when you are focused on optimization, when you are going somewhere, actually going somewhere in life, when you have a calling and when you have a purpose, nothing is more attractive to a woman in the entire world than a man on a mission getting done. If you want to continue on this journey to leveling up and optimizing your marriage, regaining the Connection with your wife. I put a book out in January called Warrior Husband how to be a better husband and save your marriage. That book is available in ebook, paperback and audiobook with digital voice and I definitely it in your hands. I put pretty much everything that I know about marriage, relationships and how to have a happy thriving marriage into that one book. There's a link for that book in the description of this podcast episode or this YouTube video if that's where you're getting it. So definitely check that out if you need a good book in your life and if you want to pursue a happy, thriving marriage, leveling up your marriage like never before. And if you can't buy that book right now, I will give you a copy of the ebook absolutely free. No catch. I'm not going to pitch you my one on one coaching program or a course or anything like that. There's literally no catch. You just have to email me and I will email you a copy of that ebook to dive into. That's how much I believe that it will level up your marriage. Like if you can't get a copy of that book because eggs are expensive right now and inflation and whatever else is going on. Yeah, I will give you a copy of that ebook for free. Absolutely. And that's what I got for you guys today. I hope that this inspired you in your life to level up your marriage, to level up yourself, most importantly. And then the leveled up marriage will follow that. Like I said, if you got something out of this episode, definitely drop a comment, let me know. It's great to hear from you guys. Guys. It helps me to keep doing this, inspires me to keep going because you are who I do this for. You know, it's my mission to help as many men as possible to level up as many marriages as possible all over the world. That's what I live for. So it's great to hear from you guys. Links in the description to all of my stuff if you want to get in contact with me. And yeah man, there are great things in store for you in this life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you. On the other side of you deciding to make the switch, make the change and level up every aspect of your life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you. You listening to this right now? I trul believe that I love you, I'm proud of you and there are great things in store for you in this life. A great destiny awaits you. There is a great purpose for your life. Again, thanks for watching and listening and I'll catch you guys on the next one. Thanks, guys. Bye.
