Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] I have the real solution to your problem, but most men don't want to hear it. So you can take my advice or you can keep being miserable and bitter. Repairing the intimacy in your marriage is incredibly easy. You just need a few mindset shifts and a few hard truths if it's your first time here. My name is Michael Riggs. I'm a full time author, artist and entrepreneur, husband and father of five. And I teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled up lives and how to transform their marriages into the marriage of their dreams. So hey, if that's something you're into, if you want to level up every aspect of your life as a man, subscribe to this podcast or this YouTube channel. And today I'm going to teach you how to make your wife crazy for you all over again. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man. So again, welcome. Welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. It's good to have you here today. It's great to talk to you today. To my regular listeners, I have a super awesome announcement. I am officially putting together a Warrior Husband exclusive community on Patreon. It's a place where all of us can come together to pursue happy, thriving marriages and a place where I can release exclusive content about being the best husband that you can be. So for those of you that follow my work and those of you who listen to this podcast mainly for my marriage content, this Warrior Husband exclusive community is going to focus on just that. And every week on there I'm going to be posting course videos, marriage challenges, resources that you can work through, and it's a place where we can all discuss and you can actually connect with me over this topic. Those of you who feel that you need to go deeper, connect with me about your situation and we can talk talk for a little bit and find out if my one on one coaching is a good fit for you. I have a 12 week program that's one on one coaching and I would love to help you turn your marriage into a happy, thriving marriage. The marriage of your dreams. So get in contact with me and we'll schedule a call to see if that's a good fit for you. And without further ado, let's dive right into it. I got this comment this morning on one of my episodes on how to be a better husband on YouTube and the comment goes like this. It is the woman who needs to Keep the intimacy alive. She's the one who's not interested in it. Okay, well, I responded, why is she not interested in it? And then I didn't get a response back. And it seemed to be that this guy thought that that was the situation for everybody. That's the norm. Women aren't interested in intimacy with their husbands or with men. And personally, that has not been my experience. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. If your wife isn't interested in intimacy with you anymore, if you guys make love not very often anymore, and you want to know how to repair that, that's what we're getting into. Because unlike this guy's belief who left this comment, intimacy should be a occurrence in your marriage if you're doing the right things. And intimacy is critically important in marriage. Like, you can't have a happy, thriving marriage without intimacy, without physical touch, without, you know, further forms of intimacy, without being crude. Here. Intimacy is critically important in marriage. And if your wife isn't interested in having intimacy with you anymore, the real question that you need to ask is, why isn't she interested in it anymore? And it's getting down to the root cause. So if your wife isn't interested in intimacy with you anymore, if you guys aren't connecting physically anymore, and that's really bothering you, the tendency is to point the finger at her and be like, she's just not into me anymore. She doesn't find me attractive anymore. She doesn't think I'm cool anymore, whatever it might be for you. But really what it comes down to is a few really simple things. And the first thing here is making the connection with your wife first. Being friends with her, actually living life together, being in this life together. When life gets busy and routine, especially if you have kids, trust me, I know. I have a whole lot of kids. Things like hanging out with your wife, take the backseat. You know, you see each other every day. Everything becomes kind of routine. You might bump into each other. You start kind of living like roommates after a while. And this is a natural occurrence. And it happens. If you're not paying attention and focusing on the things that actually matter in life, you can succumb to the routine. And like I tell you guys all the time, the routine of life actually works. The problem is getting stuck in that routine and then missing life, missing the mark, missing the things that actually matter. One of those things being the connection with your wife. So when was the last time that you actually hung out with your wife? When was the last time that you actually had a conversation with her. Because in order for the intimacy to happen, you have to make the connection first. It's like when you first started seeing each other. What happened? You hung out, you got to know each other, you laughed, you joked around, you connected, you bonded, and then the intimacy naturally followed that. You know, maybe you guys were talking and laughing one night, and then suddenly you were tearing each other's clothes off. You know what I mean? Like, the intimacy follows the connection. And if the connection is not there, there cannot be intimacy. So my best advice to you first is to make the connection again. Actually become friends with your wife again. Actually have conversations and actually listen to she's speaking. Become friends first, just like you did when you first started dating, when you first started seeing each other. And then the intimacy will follow that connection. Make the connection first, and the intimacy will follow. The second thing you need to do here is look within. And weak men do not do this. It takes a wise man to look within. Instead of pointing fingers at other people for their problems, and most men point the finger at their wife, they put the blame on their wife for their marriage troubles. But what you need to do is look within, dissect yourself. What are you doing wrong? How are you falling short? And be honest with yourself. Are you an attractive man to her, or are you a rude, crude dude? How does your wife perceive you? Does she perceive you as a lazy slob with no ambition, who's going nowhere in life, who lets everything in the world distract him? Or does she see a handsome, ambitious man with drive, who is vibrant and full of positivity and life? Does your very presence excite her, or does she look at you inside? There's a reason for that. It's because you've lost yourself, your authentic, true self, the you that she fell in love with. You got to ask yourself, am I still the same man that she marri? Am I the man that she thought she was marrying? Or did I succumb to the comforts and routines and distractions of life and completely lose myself? Well, if that's the case, then no wonder she doesn't want to get intimate with you. You're not the guy that she fell in love with anymore. And you need to rediscover who that is. Become that guy with drive and ambition, with big dreams and big visions of the future. Those dreams that you told her about when you first started seeing her, the reason she married you, that she saw this future of abundance and adventure ahead of her before everything got so Routine and boring and comfortable. What happened to that guy? That guy again. And then start impressing your wife again. When did you stop impressing your wife? Even if you're staying home and you have the day off, get up, get dressed, get put together, get cleaned up, spray on some cologne. You don't only have to put yourself together when you're going somewhere. That's a huge mistake that people make in marriage. Why are you getting all dressed up? Why are you spraying on cologne? Because you're going to spend the day in the same vicinity as the love of your life, the woman of your dreams. If she wasn't the love of your life and the woman of your dreams, you shouldn't have married her in the first place. But this beautiful woman that you committed to spending the rest rest of your life with, there should never come a time where you're not trying to impress her. Still, that goes back to becoming the man she married again. Because when you first started seeing her, you were trying to impress her. You did put yourself together. If you were going to be hanging out with her. You made sure that you looked nice, that you smelled nice, that you were charming, that you were funny. If you stopped doing that, that's why the intimacy is gone. If you lay around on the weekends and sweatpants, scratching your nuts, burping and farting, being rude, watching football, drinking beer, doing all of that bullshit, that is why your intimacy in your marriage is gone. Put on your best self every day, even if you're staying in, even if you're just at home, whenever you're going to be around her, if you want her to be interested in physical intimacy and sex with you, put on your best self every day and start impressing her again. And a lot of you might say, well, she does the same thing. She got comfortable, too. She let herself go. Well, here's the thing, man. If you put on your best self every day, that will become the standard and the norm. And she might just start following your example. And at first she'll say, what are you getting all dressed up for? Where are you going? And you can flirt. You can use that as an opportunity to flirt. Like, I got all dressed up for you. I wanted to look nice for you. It's because I'm hanging out with you. What are we doing today? Then start being charming and funny and witty again like you did when you first started seeing her. And you know, I tell you all the time, what you can control is optimizing yourself. You can't control your wife. So like I said, you might say, well, she does the same thing too. Well, you can't control that. But what you can control is you control what you can control, which is yourself. And put on your best self every single day and focus for a while on the things that actually matter instead of distractions. Football, golf, video. Video games, whatever the thing is for you, whatever that distraction is for you. Focus on the things that actually matter. Your family, raising your kids, having conversations with your wife, building that connection again, let's say that you lost sight of some dreams that you had in the past. Maybe you wanted to be a business owner or a content creator. You. You had these big ideas, right? Rediscover those again. And then pursue that thing relentlessly, whatever that thing might be. Discover your calling in your purpose, the purpose for your life. That drive in that ambition is incredibly attractive to women. They want to see that they're going somewhere. They want to feel there's a future of adventure and abundance awaiting them. Yes, the routine, the daily routine actually works. But that doesn't mean that that's where she wants to be forever. She wants to know that you guys are going somewhere in the future and that every day isn't going to be the same forever. So rediscover that drive in that ambition that you had. Begin building your dream life together. This will bring back the excitement. And if you are fully optimized in your own life, if you become your best self again, if you become that man that she fell in love with, the intimacy will naturally follow that. And her attraction to you will naturally. That she might say to her friends, I don't know what's gotten into him lately, but I love it. She'll brag about you. She'll feel proud of you again. She'll be like, my husband is really getting it together. I don't know what happened, but this is awesome. Step three here is put an emphasis on how beautiful she is to you. When was the last time that you complimented your wife? When was the last time you told her that she was beautiful, that she was cute, that she was sexy? Begin flirting with your wife again. This is massively important. Thank her for the things that she does for you. Show her appreciation. Show her praise. Give her compliments. This nurtures the feminine in spirit. Men grow by challenges and women grow by praise and compliments. So never try to challenge your woman. Always compliment her. And constantly and consistently reminds her how beautiful she is to you. Because women want to feel desirable. They want to feel beautiful. That's why they spend so much time and so much money on hair and makeup and clothes and things like that. Feminine women want to feel beautiful. It's like just a natural part of their existence. And I'm sure you don't want anyone or anything making her feel beautiful and desirable except for you. So make sure that it's you. Make sure you are the main one doing that. Tell her she is beautiful every single day. Flirt with her, hit on her. If you haven't been doing that, that's one of the reasons that your intimacy is gone. She might feel like, he doesn't even think I'm cute anymore. He doesn't even think I'm beautiful anymore. Especially if you've been together for a while and you stopped putting an emphasis on how beautiful she is to you. If you're not making her feel desirable, then there's no reason for intimacy. There's nothing really turning her on. She wants to feel beautiful, right? So that's another thing is compliment your wife reminds her that she's beautiful and show her appreciation and gratitude for the things that she. Number four here is, how is your performance in intimacy? What does your intimate history with your wife look like when you've been intimate with your wife in the past? Was it good or was it awkward? Was it terrible? Was it routine? Think about that like, it's hard to put this into words, but do you perform well in bed? Is basically the question that I'm asking you. And after you have made that connection again with your wife and the intimacy does follow, this is your opportunity to perform better than you ever have before. And what you need to do is put an emphasis on her pleasure over yours. A lot of times this happens all the time in marriages. When you've been together for a while, intimacy becomes a routine. It becomes kind of a task on a checklist, just to check off and get it done and continue on with the day. Don't let it be that it's not just a task on the to do list to check off. It's two souls becoming one. It's a spiritual connection. It's more than that. And honestly, dude, if it wasn't good for her, if it wasn't pleasurable to her, if it was kind of like, oh, I have to do that again, great, then she's not going to want to do it, bro. And. And you need to explore what that means. Explore from other sources how to please a woman, how pleasure a woman, how to make her feel good. I'm not a teacher of those things myself, but I'm just pointing you in the right direction here, that if you want to have regular intimacy with your wife, if you want to bring that spark back, if you want to get physical again and you're wondering why she's not interested in doing that anymore, then when you have made that connection again and when the intimacy follows, perform better than you have ever performed before so that she has a reason to come back. She's like, whoa, what was that? What happened? You know, out of breath, can't wait to do that again. And I'm really not trying to be inappropriate here. I'm just talking to you man to man. Like, put an emphasis on her pleasure over yours and perform better in bed if you want to have more intimacy in your marriage and in your relationship. And another thing is you don't need to spice things up. You don't need to role play, you know, all that cheesy stuff. You just need to have authentic intimacy. You need to make an authentic connection again and then have authentic intimacy. It needs to flow naturally. The energy needs to flow naturally. It needs to be two souls becoming one in spiritual relationship with each other, in physical intimacy, just naturally. That's just how it is. It just needs to flow. It just needs to happen. It doesn't need to be forced. You don't need to have a plan. You don't need to talk about it beforehand, like what you're gonna do, how you should do it, anything like that. Don't make it awkward. Just make the connection again. The. The intimacy will naturally follow that connection. And then, bam, there you are. You're doing it again. Stop believing the lie that she doesn't want to do it with you because there's something wrong with her that's just simply not true. And if that happens to be true in the end, there's nothing that you can do about that. You can't control her. You can only control yourself. And becoming the best yourself that you can be is what you can control. Accept that you yourself into this mess and make her want you again by being your best self, the best you that you can be, and by living your best life. When it comes down to it, of course she doesn't want to have sex with a jerk who's going nowhere in life. So be better than that. Rise above other weaker men and look within. Weak men can't do that. They want to blame everyone and everything else for their problems in life. Wise men, smart men, real men optimize themselves first. And then they realize that everything follows, that everything falls into place. Life gets better and better, and Better the better that you get better. Look within. Optimize every aspect of your life and everything in your life will transform, including the intimacy and the connection with your wife. Become that charming, handsome, ambitious guy that you were when you first started dating her, and she will fall in love with you all over again. And if not, guess what? You still became your best self. You still rediscovered who you are. You still became your authentic self, and nobody can take that away from you. Don't ever stop impressing your wife. Don't ever stop flirting with your wife. Don't ever stop dating your wife. It's time to go back to the beginning, the honeymoon phase. Honeymoon phase forever, bro. And never leaving that place again. And if you want to go deeper, if you want to level up every aspect of your marriage, if you want to explore communication with women, intimacy with women, how to make a true connection, how to repair everything about your marriage, I put out a book in January called Warrior Husband. How to be a Better Husband and Savior Marriage. In this book, I put everything that I know about marriage and relationship and how to have a happy, thriving marriage. If you want to transform your marriage into the marriage of your dreams, this is the starting point. This is what you need right here. This is available in ebook, paperback, and audiobook with digital voice, depending on what format you prefer. And I believe so much that this will transform your marriage that if you can't get a copy of this right now, because eggs are expensive, bro, I will send you a copy of the ebook absolutely for free. No catch. I just want it in your hands to level up your marriage. So reach out to me and let me know if you want a free copy of this book and I will email that over to you. But this covers everything from conflict resolution, communication with your wife, how to bring the intimacy back, all of that. It's all in here in depth again, that's Warrior Husband by Michael Riggs. Grab a copy of this if you want to level up your marriage in 2025. And just another reminder here really quick that, that Patreon is coming, focused around Warrior Husband, focused on having the marriages of our dreams. So depending on when you're listening to this, there will be a link to that in the description of this podcast episode or that's coming soon if you're getting this right when I'm releasing it, because that's still in development. Right. It's pretty much almost ready to be released, but I'm super excited. Looking forward to that. Can't wait to connect with you guys on there. If you're new here, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast or this YouTube channel because we are building a strong community, a huge community of men all over the world who want to live fully, optimized, leveled up lives. And again, it was awesome to talk to you today, bro. And I'll catch you on the next one. Thanks, guys. Bye.
