Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Coming up on the Warrior Kings podcast.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: I just want someone to. To get on the same regiment that I'm on without, and I want them to do it without trt. And I want them to do the same things that I'm doing. Diet wise, not drinking, fitness wise. I want them to prove to me that they won't get good results. They thought they had it. They thought they could have the best of both worlds. You know, they could drink and party, stay out late, and then just smash the gym the next day. The things that alcohol showed me, like, being able to think deeper or to have more intense conversations or to be more fun or to be more laid back, like, alcohol wasn't doing that. It was just revealing something in me that was already there. I. I caught a glimpse of, of losing everything.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: Welcome and welcome back to the Warrior Kings podcast. Today we have JD Emmons, or as you might know him on social media, fit over 40 dad. And today we're talking about the path to sobriety and how it has transformed his life and his fitness journey. I've been really looking forward to this one. It's super awesome to have him on the show. So without further ado, let's dive right into the episode. Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. I'm your host, Michael Riggs, here to assist you on your journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a man.
[00:01:12] Speaker C: J.D. welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast. It's great to have you here today. For those who might not know your work or your content, tell us a little bit about what you do.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: So, yeah, I guess, I guess mainly what I'm trying to do is just get a message out there that, that life's better on the other side of the bottle.
You know, we're, we're fed this message that, that's like the, the epitome of being a man is, is being able to hold your liquor or, you know, things relative to that. And I've, I tried that route. I've seen a lot of men try that route, and turns out it doesn't really work that way.
[00:01:46] Speaker C: Yep. And it's, it's an important message. And your content inspires me every day. You know, it inspires me to be a better man in my life. So I appreciate you sharing that with the world and sharing your story with the world is super awesome.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, it. It seems to, it seems to be needed for sure.
[00:02:04] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, for sure. Men need it for sure. What, what was the turning point for?
I feel like it's different for everybody. Like when you decided to give up drinking, what. What was that turning point in your life like?
[00:02:17] Speaker B: Well, a little background. So. So I've got 11 kids, I've got four grandkids.
[00:02:22] Speaker C: That's awesome.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
I've been married for 29 years.
You would think in the midst of that, the life that we created, that I would feel completed, fulfilled, and definitely not alone.
I found myself at the end of 2023 just feeling completely alone.
And I had spent most of that year actually realizing that I needed to cut back on drinking because it was affecting my health.
I even implemented some things in my life, like running a marathon to try to slow me down a little bit on drinking. And I just worked harder and drank more.
You work harder to overcome what the bottle's doing, and then you drink more to reward yourself for working so hard. It's like this vicious cycle and Thanksgiving of 23, I remember just being in my living room and just feeling completely.
Yeah. Isolated and alone in the midst of, I don't know, 15, 20 people at my house. It was a really.
It was really eye opening experience for me. I know a lot of people have their versions of their lows and some of them are pretty traumatic. This one to me was pretty traumatic because it. I felt like I was missing out on life and we had worked so hard to get to this point. That was really scary for me. And so that was my turning point. It's.
[00:03:47] Speaker C: Did you feel kind of like you were squandering the blessing a little bit? Kind of like with, you know, being. Taking the distraction of drinking and also not feeling fulfilled, though you. You should have.
I guess, kind of. Is that.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: It was. Yeah.
I. I don't know. You know, I'm not. I don't consider myself a real deep thinker. I don't really think much about the future.
And so that being my norm, when the thoughts of losing everything and getting a quick glimpse of what that would look like and realizing that the things I was even doing to get fulfillment, like drinking, to feel connected, to feel like I fit in with other men, that wasn't working anymore. And the only thing I had left was my family because they still accepted me. I wasn't a crazy drunk. Like, I wasn't your stereotypical textbook alcoholic drunk or whatever.
I actually felt like I was. In some regards, I think I was a better person. Like I actually interacted more with my kids and listened more to my wife, but they were.
It was becoming more and more difficult to keep the facade up, I guess, and.
And so I Caught a glimpse of.
Of losing everything.
You know, I wasn't necessarily, like, on the verge of losing everything. Like, it wasn't, like, imminent, at least not in my. My vision, so to speak. I mean, I mean, not what was actually going on, but. But I was seeing glimpses of. Of that. And. And. And yeah, so I. I suppose it was like.
Like I wasn't.
I mean, I would love to say that I wasn't. That I was thoughtfully thinking or that I was actively thinking about not being a good steward and I needed to shape up or ship out, because I. That just wasn't me. But looking back, that's definitely what was going on for sure.
[00:05:44] Speaker C: Yeah, A lot of guys will. I feel like most guys don't look within and make a change because it takes a lot of courage to do that. To kind of confront yourself, you know, and take a look in the mirror.
Takes a lot of courage.
[00:05:58] Speaker B: Well, it's embarrassing, you know. Yep. It's really embarrassing when you're supposed to be the leader and the man, the provider and areas, Whether other people bring it to your attention or God brings it to your attention, or you just have the realization on your own when you find the areas that you're failing in, especially in areas where you're kind of consciously purposefully failing in it. I was choosing to drink. No one was making me do it. It wasn't because of how I was raised. There's all kinds of excuses I could throw in there, but it was my choice.
And I didn't quite understand that to the depth I do now at that time.
But, yeah, it was me doing it. And when I realized that, it was really embarrassing because, I mean, I'm supposed to be the man of the house, the leader, the guy that my kids look up to, the example for my daughters of who to marry. And I was completely dropping the ball.
[00:07:02] Speaker C: A lot of people don't realize. You mentioned before they were starting to affect your health. I feel like a lot of people don't realize the health consequences. I did an episode a while back where I was talking about the health consequences of drinking alcohol regularly, and I was actually accused by a lot of people for making up fake science. And they would say, you can drink every day and be just fine. I'm like, google it, man. Like, these are the consequences, you know, Like, I'm not making it up, you know?
[00:07:30] Speaker B: Yeah, we. Well, you know, it's. I can kind of joke about it now because I. I was so deep into it, so I can.
In the process of seeming like I'M making fun of others. I'm actually making fun of my former self. Like the, the justifications that we, that we, that we bring to ourselves, they make so much sense in the moment to us.
Because, you know, everyone, I think a lot, I won't say everyone, but a lot of people, especially high achievers, I would consider me and my wife kind of high achievers. We've done a lot. We've, we've lived, we've chosen to live a life that most people tell us that there's no way they could do it or would do it or would even want to do it. And we're doing it.
And, and so that same mentality was carried over into drinking. I thought, you know, I, I can do, I can be the guy, you know, that, that is healthy and drinks and I just have to drink a higher quality liquor and regulate it, you know, like, it's not about getting plastered all the time. Although I stayed intoxicated, you know, the majority of every day and definitely every event, no matter what the event was.
And I was telling those same lies to myself and those people, the people that are heaviest, I'm finding now, I mean, it may take six months or a year, but I'm. See, I've been in this long enough now to where I'm seeing the full, not full circle, but the, the 180s, I guess happen where people that were so hardcore, like this is, you know, garbage. You're, you're stating false. You don't, you don't, you don't know my life, you don't know everything. All this kind of stuff. Those same people are coming back now and going, I see it like they've hit that in part in the beginning stage of that of, of the rock bottom or, you know, or whatever the changing point. What I'm finding the pattern, the beginning stages of that is to be so adamantly against someone sharing truth, right? So those people that were coming at you saying, oh, you, you know, you're, you're sharing false stuff, like, why are they even bothering conversing with you? Right? Yeah. Their life is so great and they're doing so wonderful. Why do they take their time to go out of their way to share some hate with me or share some hate with you or anyone, spread a positive message, right? Because it's consuming their minds and, and they don't realize it at the time, but it, but it will come and they, and their eyes will be opened. Hopefully, you know, not before it's too late.
Yeah.
[00:10:06] Speaker C: I have found that speaking Truth and trying to help people will make some people really angry. And I've never been able to understand that, but I've done that too, where I went and got a more expensive bottle, and I'm like, I'm gonna take this one slow. I'm gonna have moderation now. I'm gonna just have one or two. And then the next day I. I'm like, that didn't work. You know, I drank more. More than half the bottle. You know that. Yeah, it just, you know, and I don't. I don't know if that's for everybody. You know, moderation is an interesting topic, but I know for me, it doesn't exist because I've tried it, you know.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I think, you know, I've come to the conclusion that the word moderation can only apply to somebody that's trying to slow something down that has taken hold of their life.
Meaning. My wife drinks occasionally, right? She might drink a couple glasses of wine at dinner a couple times a month, or, you know, I think she drank. She drank some wine while we were at where we were down in the yard.
And that's not moderation. That's just her norm. Right. One of my coaches, and I think it's an AA term, but he refers to those people as normies.
They're. They're just. That's just. They're just normal drinkers. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that that glass of wine that she's having is beneficial for her, because it's absolutely not, but it's not harmful in the same manner. Like, I would. I would want the whole bottle and another one, especially at, you know, like, the resort I just came from. It's all inclusive. I could have had as many bottles of wine at dinner as I wanted to. They weren't going to stop it. You know, I could have had as many, but they had Buffalo Trace there. I. I could have drinking anything and everything all day long.
That's. And that's how I would have handled it, because to me, the term moderation would apply to me, because to me, I'm. I'm an all or nothing. So the only way to slow that down and still partake, which I can't do, is moderation. And I don't think it's possible.
I just don't. That's why I say often moderation is garbage. I just don't. But. But moderation only applies to somebody that is trying to slow something down. My wife's not trying to slow down drinking. There Is no problem.
Right. And some people can do that. Some people. Some people can drink a glass of wine. I don't understand that. I think that's. I mean, I honestly think it's stupid. I don't understand. It's like, what's the point? Like.
[00:12:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: You know, because it's not for the taste. Right.
So if it's for this feeling, then I don't want just a little bit of that feeling. I want as much as that feeling as I can. As I can get. Right. Yeah. So why would I moderate that?
Yeah. It doesn't make sense.
[00:12:48] Speaker C: People have different reactions to alcohol also. Like, you'll see the guy who can't walk straight and slurs his speech, doesn't know where he is. I'm like the opposite of that. When I drink alcohol, it elevates me. I'm more talkative. I think I'm smarter. I want to talk about every topic in the world, you know, And I feel like I'm. I'm sharper when I drink alcohol, which I feel like that's even more dangerous because, like you said, I'll have one, and then I want more of that feeling. I'm like. Because I'm going up instead of down. Right. So.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: Right.
Yeah. In the moment, it's definitely how you. How you feel.
And. And there may be elements of truth to it. And I. And I tried to tap into that. I didn't. I kind of.
I guess subconsciously or not, not on purpose, I came across this notion that the things that alcohol showed me, like being able to think deeper or to have more intense conversations or to be more fun or to be more laid back, like, alcohol wasn't doing that. It was just revealing something in me that was already there. And so what I realized six months or whenever, after I stopped was that I could. I could tap into that. I just had to consciously, instead of using a drink to do it, I just had to use my mind to do it. And I'm not going to say that it's easy. Like, it's. It's much easier for me to stay in that place if I. If those nights that I could regulate the alcohol really well, you know?
You know, drank like. Like almost like timing, you know, I knew I had it figured out, right, those nights that I could do it really well, and I was really conscious of it.
I felt like I could. I could, you know, I could have lasted, who knows, days. Right. But in the natural getting to that place of being more interactive with people, like, it's kind of tiresome for me. And so I can only do it for so long. And that's actually normal.
Like, that's more normal. You know, it's kind of abnormal. Like, you can't. You're not. We aren't just living our lives just like always, in the state of entertainment, right? And that's what I was trying to keep that moment alive forever and ever and ever. And I wanted other people to experience because I. Because I thought, well, if I'm experiencing it because I'm drinking, you know, this, then you could experience it too. So let's experience it together. And so I'll buy you some and here, you know, whatever. And we would partake and share in this stuff, and we would have a grand old time.
But that's not natural, you know, like, a good friendship's great, but it's not. It's not something that you do every single day and have these amazing conversations every single day. Like, there's. There's parts of it that maybe aren't so fun. There's parts of it that are quiet. There's parts of it that are, you know, observing. You know, there's different stages and seasons, and we're trying to stay in this one season because it's like bliss at the moment.
But the. The after effects, what it's doing to your life, you know, the results of 10 years of drinking. For me, like, I'm paying for those decisions now.
You know, two years, nearly two years after I've stopped. I'm still paying for the consequences, mainly in the financial sense, but there's definitely some relationship damages that have to be repaired, but not in the sense of, like, I didn't hurt anyone. There was no divorces. I didn't lose contact with my children, anything like that.
[00:16:12] Speaker C: That happens to a lot of guys, though, as a. Oh, it's.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: It's so common. So many guys reach out and they're like, I had an ad out there one time that gave the option. It gave people three options to choose to respond to me. And one of the options was, I'm successful, but I can't drop the bottle. One of them was, I've lost everything.
I don't remember. Something along the lines of, like, I've literally lost everything.
And a lot of people would respond in that manner. And so I would reach out to them and I'm like, what's up? And they're like, well, I mean, I'd even get on calls with these guys, and they're like, yeah, I've literally lost everything. Like, I'm I've lost my job, I've lost my wife, my kids won't talk to me. And I'm. The only way I'm continuing to drink is by tapping into my retirement funds. Like people drinking on their 401ks and stuff like that.
[00:16:59] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:17:00] Speaker B: And I'm like, yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty low. Right. And that happens a lot.
[00:17:04] Speaker C: I've found that it's actually dangerous for some people to quit drinking cold turkey, which is kind of a reason enough not to let it get to that point because some of those things are really scary that come with withdrawal symptoms from like heavy dependent alcoholics. I mean, things like psychosis can happen, hallucinations, seizures, all kinds of really scary stuff. So I mean, that's enough to be like, I don't ever want it to get to that point, you know, when you learn that stuff.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Yeah. A lot of people though, I'm, I'm finding that a lot of people rely on the, on that or, or they use that as their excuse to continue drinking actually, because they don't want to. They think that that's for everyone.
Right. They don't realize that, that not everyone goes through those crazy withdrawals.
And I don't know what puts someone over the edge. You know, I feel like I drink quite a bit. I don't know if it's the type of liquor you drink. I don't know if it's genetics. I don't know what it is.
Maybe it was supernatural whenever I stopped. I don't know. Like, all I know is that I was a pretty heavy drinker, you know, and, and there's been, and there's, there's been people that have told me that they've tried to stop drinking before and they started to go through withdrawals and that scared them, so they went back into drinking. And I'll ask them how much they're drinking and it's not near as much as what I was drinking.
I don't know. You know, so there's, there's all types. It seems the pattern that I've found is that heavy vodka drinkers tend to, it seems like they have more of the withdrawal stuff like, and, and then the cirrhosis of the liver and all that. But I don't know if that's true or not. I haven't done much studies into it.
[00:18:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Speaker B: You know, I'm, I'm not the, the guy that's, that's trying to, you know, although I, I, I preach sobriety and, and I consider myself like a Sobriety coach.
I'm more for the guy that's pretty much already dropped a bottle and is trying to figure out what to do with their life now. Right.
Like, I'm not a rehab center. I'm not going to be handing you drugs and, you know, going through all these. That. That kind of stuff. I've had a guy that, you know, we had to walk him through some stuff, and that's scary for me because I'm not trained in anything. I don't. I don't know what to do like, and I'm not going to encourage someone to like. Although I think that.
Well, I know I've. I've taught one of my coaches.
He.
He was really heavy into stuff, and he went through a month of sweats and shakes and stuff, and he. He didn't go to a clinic, he didn't go to a rehab. He just. He was so determined. Something monumental happened, and he was like, you know, what if I die? It's better than where this was headed.
That's what he chose, you know, so you just have to be. You know, each person has to make that decision for themselves. And unfortunately, what happens more often than not is you're so out of yourself in these moments that it's hard to make a conscious decision to continue doing the right thing and figure out what's the right way to do it. And that's why it's so important to have a team around you. Like, in his case, my coach's case, he had a.
So I have a couple coaches. One of them went through the rehab stuff, the aa and one of them didn't.
And they have very similar drinking drug stories, but very different, like, ways that they got sober. And he. And the one that did it, you know, cold turkey, he had his wife and some close friends that were there to support him and, you know, hold his hand basically through this process.
Right. And that's. That's. That's heavy. I don't. You know, I. I didn't. I. I should have experienced something, I suppose, but I didn't.
[00:20:48] Speaker C: It's definitely good to have community and mentors and. And people who have gone through it or are going through it themselves, and that's kind of what you provide with your content and your community.
Super awesome.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's really. It really is important. I mean, it started off with just accountability for myself, and it continues to be that, you know, the. A lot of the stuff that I put out there, I'm talking to me, you know, like, things that I'm dealing With daily or weekly or whatever. Like I don't have it all figured out. Like life's not like roses every single day. You know, I've got a great life, an amazing life, but I still have mental things that come my way and battles, you know, it could be little things that trigger, you know, like there's only one egg instead of six eggs left or you know, whatever, like stupid stuff. And you learn how to manage your, the stressful things. Whether it's big stress or little stress, you learn how to manage it better and better as you go through it. Especially whenever you're consciously.
When, when you're, when you're present, you know, you, you can do that. You can't do it when you're just like always relying on some kind of drug to get you through the day. Right.
[00:22:01] Speaker C: Something to numb it all out and kind of ignore that stuff. That, and, and then now facing it in the right mind and working on your own mindset.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And that accountability that whether it's through a community or, you know, you know, just positive stuff being pumped into your mind is really key in that it really is important.
Just someone to say, you know what, hey, this is normal, but you'll get through it or you got through it last time. Some. You know, my wife does this a lot. She reminds me of reality because in the moment I'm like, oh no, this is the end of the world.
And she's like, no, you already got through this like 12 times before. I think you'll be okay, you know. Yeah, okay, right. You know, the voice of reason.
[00:22:45] Speaker C: How is sobriety affected your fitness journey?
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Well, you know, I started fitness and drinking at the same time about 11 or 12 years ago.
And I can tell you my fitness journey while I was drinking just tapered out to nothing.
And my fitness journey while I'm not drinking is only continuing to grow and get better. And I'm improving and reaching goals that I, that I wanted to reach when I was drinking. But I never had the drive. I never had. You know, it was mainly my, my drive and my energy was, was just so non existent that I just eventually just because I just gave into it, you can only like push through, you know, feeling like crap from like a hangover or feeling like you're poisoned. You can only push through that so many times.
And, and so I would just start resorting to just drinking earlier and earlier because that's what would relieve me in the moment. You know, going out and going for a run or doing some push ups or pull ups. Or whatever, in theory, should have made me feel better, but I didn't have the drive to even start the process.
It's a lot easier to go pour a drink.
[00:24:03] Speaker C: Yeah, it has a lot of negative effects on fitness. Fitness as well. Like, it'll throw your hormones off.
A lot of people don't know that it completely shuts off the body's fat burning. Like, so if you drink before bed, go lay down and go to sleep, your body's busy processing the alcohol instead of burning fat. So a lot of people who are drinking all the time, they. They don't. They see no results in their fitness.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: Right, right. Yeah. And I think that's something that, you know, just with the natural process of, especially in men, you know, like our hormone, Our. Our hormones change over the course of, you know, starts in our late 20s, I think, and it just continues to gradually get worse. I mean, you know, some genetics play a part in this, obviously, but, you know, I think some people can, realistically, probably more in their 30s or whatever, 20s and 30s, can probably drink and, and stay fairly looking healthy or athletic. But it's.
There's a point, and I think I had reached that point in my early 40s where, like, I couldn't do both, you know, and I'm not saying that I'm the example for everyone, but I see that more often than not. You know, so many people that had that, that lifestyle of fitness and they were, they thought they had it. They thought they could, you know, have the best of both worlds. You know, they could drink and party, stay out late and, and then just smash the gym the next day. And they could, they could do that for a season.
But I don't think that season, that season, that the length of that season is going to be different for everyone. But yeah, scientifically, at some point your body is gonna succumb to the, the negative effects of what alcohol is actually doing to your brain. You know, that's the part that I focused on more of, is. Is my brain. But I did see, like, one. One of the biggest things that I did to actually reveal my core, my abs and, and, and stuff, and get rid of love handles was just not drinking.
[00:26:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: Because I did a lot of the same intermittent fasting when I was drinking still, especially that last year of drinking because I was, I was so deterred. I had started working out at the. In January of 2023, and then I drank for the next 11 months, and I pushed through those mornings of getting up and getting. That's when I started my cold Tub, the cold therapy. I started that while I was still drinking in hopes that it would show me something.
And I, I started a morning routine of working out. I trained for that marathon. Actually ran two big races of that year. Yeah, my body was like, look, we can't do both.
And, and it affects, and it's not just those two things that you're, you're fighting like, you're also a husband, you're also a dad, you're also a business owner. You're also like, you got to take care of yourself and, and like it.
I just ran out. I was completely depleted.
[00:27:09] Speaker C: Another correlation that I found fascinating is that I've seen that with a lot of people that when they get sober, suddenly their career, their success just suddenly takes off. Like the success that they were looking for, working on for years.
They get sober and then their career suddenly takes off. I see that with, you know, a lot of personalities online who had a career for years but were very little known. And then they got sober and their career just skyrocketed. You know, that's, that's a fascinating correlation.
[00:27:41] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean you have, you have clarity of mind. You can see, you can see the bigger picture. I, I think the biggest part of, is that you can actually solve problems. Right.
You, you can't when you're numb to things.
I had a really difficult time solving problems. Like problems that weren't like problems that were in your face, like in the moment that had to be like you're at the fork in the road.
Yeah. You could deal with those. You probably didn't. I probably didn't deal with them the correct way. But the long term problems, like how are we going to address this issue that's going to arise in six months or a year?
I wasn't thinking like that. My wife was trying to, but I just kept shutting it all down.
[00:28:27] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:28:28] Speaker B: And I, and I. The pattern is that you, you can, you can, you, you have to have clarity of mind in order to, to make those choices that are required to be, you know, to separate yourself from the pack of average. Right.
And, and there's nothing wrong with someone that wants to just, you know, have the normal job and just do the normal thing. If that's what you want to do, if that brings you joy, then go for that. But I, I feel like even in that situation, you would do it even better if you were clear minded, you know, for sure. But if you want to separate from that and do something on your own and run your own business, and especially if you want to Take that to some crazy level like you got to be present and you got to have a team around you that you can trust that are present as well.
You know, there's just too many examples of people on that trajectory and then they squandered all the way, you know. Right. Yeah. Because they can't think. Right.
[00:29:27] Speaker C: Or another thing I wanted to talk about really quick is TRT and the misconceptions around it, because I've seen you talking about that recently, you know, and what's, what the misconceptions are is that it's hardcore steroids and the only reason you're fit is because of trt.
[00:29:46] Speaker B: Right?
Yeah. So, yeah, it's, it's kind of funny to me. And, and the one challenge that I'll, that I like to throw out there is I just want someone to. Because it's a win win challenge is I just want the person that's, that's saying that to, to, to get on the same regiment that I'm on without. And I want them to do it without trt and I want them to do the same things that I'm doing, diet wise, not drinking, fitness wise.
And I want them to prove to me that they won't get good results because I know they will.
And so they'll win. Right. And in the process of them trying to prove me wrong, they're going to better themselves and they're going to achieve amazing things. Now, genetically, I don't know what they're going to look like, but I guarantee if you do the same things that me or some of the other guys out there that are, that are doing this, there's no choice but your body to respond in a positive way.
Yeah, the other part. Yeah, the other, the other thing, to me that's, it's funny and I was thinking about this the other day.
I did a little video about. It is I get so many people that, that reach out and, and it's so, it's, it's so comical. And I, and this may. It's probably going to sound weird, like I'm trying to be humble or whatever, but I'm not a strong guy.
I'm. I'm like dimensions wise, I'm not very. I think my arms are like 16 and a half, maybe 17 inches. Like there's bigger guys out there. I'm not a big guy. I don't have a big frame. I'm not super strong.
I've. I've focused more in the last two years on, on handling my body weight as far as like doing calisthenics and body weight workouts rather than, you know, benching and, and whatever, squats, things like that. And so I think that gives the appearance that, that I'm stronger than I really am.
But size wise, like, I'm, I'm not a big guy in everyone that I've ever known that's put in the work, that's, that's had a regular.
At the very minimum, they've had a really good workout routine that was on steroids, not TRT. TRT is for optimization.
And steroids is literally 10 times the dosage. I was on 10 times the dose. I did steroids way back in the day and I was on, I think it was 1200 milligrams a week. I don't know if you know anything about milligrams or how TRT works, but I'm on 120 right now.
Like, I was, I was so out of whack. I don't know what my testosterone levels were because I didn't test any of that stuff. I wasn't doing anything the way it was supposed to be done. But my, my point is, is that people that, that are, that have at the very minimum, a really good gym workout, really good gym etiquette put in the work, but they're doing large dosages of testosterone. Well, first of all, you have to do other things as well. You know, there's other side effects that you have to counter and things like that. When you get up that high, they, they do. They, they get like abnormally bigger.
And some people can make that look right, and some people just, it just looks weird, you know, But I think to be if that same. If those, if. I guess my point is, is if someone's on 120 milligrams versus someone that's on 1200 milligrams and they're doing the exact same thing. The one with 1200 milligrams is definitely going to grow in size. They're definitely going to get larger. They're going to, they're going to benefit more from the same work.
My argument is that if, if you're not on TRT and you have a testosterone level of 900 and I'm on TRT and I have a testosterone level of 900, I don't see how I'm benefiting.
And some people try to tell me, well, it's because you're.
They. They say it's because you're more steady. Regulated. If I was pinning every day, I can believe that. But I'm not your body goes ups and ups and downs. My body, you know, goes like that every week. It goes up and it goes down. Goes up, then it goes down. Because I only pin once a week. And for the life of me, people, they just, they don't want to. They don't even want to entertain that thought that the, the same numbers 900 and 900 are.
That you're kind of on the same you know, playing field or whatever now.
[00:34:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: Do I have a. Do I have a. A benefit over someone that is not optimal? Yeah, just like if, If I nourish myself with food and water, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be. I'm gonna have a benefit over someone that, that, that doesn't, you know, for extended periods of time. Right.
And so it's, it's just, you know, it's never an argument. It's not an argument that anyone's ever going to win, per se, but it is, it is fun to. It stirs up thoughts and gives me content for another video.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: Yeah. So basically, if someone were were to have a testosterone deficiency and you're brought back up to your natural level, the, the optimal, natural level with trt, of course you would have an advantage, but all it does is bring you to the natural optimal level, basically.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:09] Speaker C: If I understand that, right.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: Yeah, that's the goal. The goal is to be optimal, and it doesn't have to be, you know, everyone's optimal level. I think what I'm. What I'm finding in my experience, in the education that I've.
The education that I've done or the, the, the learning that I've done is that, you know, just because someone has a T level of 900 and someone has a T level of 600, they could actually both perform similarly. It just depends on how their body responds, because it's not just the testosterone levels that we're looking at. There's so many other things involved.
And, you know, I don't personally get into all the other stuff. I let my advisors tell me that kind of stuff. You know, the company that I work with, they, they go over my numbers with me, and I know some basics and I know how to, to, to manipulate some of the numbers, like the thickness of my blood. You know, like the, the, the fewer energy drinks that I drink and the more water I drink, the better my blood works and the, the easier it is for my heart to work. Right.
You know, little things like that and, and then keeping my diet clean, that. That's going to help with, with, with all Kinds of other things going on in my body. But yeah, the goal of TRT is to bring somebody that has had their natural levels be so depleted, whether it's through just, you know, genetically it's just lower or from cell phone signals depleting us or I don't know, our diet. I mean, there's so many things. In my case it was combination of drinking, bad diet, and I did, I did two back to back cycles of, of really heavy steroids thinking that, you know, I was just ignorant. I just thought this is going to make me grow. Right. And I got strong.
I was going to the gym and I got strong, but I, I didn't, I wasn't doing it correctly and I, and I was getting a lot of the other side effects that people are so worried about. Right. And so I had, I just stopped cold turkey. I just stopped and it took about a year to get back. Right. But I was drinking so like I didn't care.
You know, Red Bull and bourbon will get you through all those times.
[00:37:26] Speaker C: All right, I got a few of your posts here to go through and then you can kind of expand on that. I have moderation works for average men. I'm not average. That's why one drink always led to seven. The all in that made me successful, made me made alcohol lethal.
[00:37:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
Yeah. And I think, you know, when I hear it, when I hear it like that, it sounds like I'm poking at the people like my wife, I guess, that are normies. And I'm saying that automatically that they're just average people. And that's not necessarily true. I guess what is more true is that there are people that are normies that like my wife is not an average person. She, she goes above and beyond in everything she does. I mean, she birthed 11 children naturally.
She's. And would, would have done more had we didn't have some medical things happen.
She's run businesses successfully while raising the kids while I was traveling. Like she's anything but average.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: That's incredible.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: Yeah, but she, she can also just have a drink or two. But like I said earlier, she's not, she's not doing it in moderation. Like, she's doing it in moderation, but she's not moderating her drinking. That's the, I think that's the distinction.
[00:38:49] Speaker C: And so I have to try to.
[00:38:51] Speaker B: Yeah, so I guess the, the, the, the point in that post is, is for me, I'm, I'm gonna go all in on something. I'm gonna go all in on, you know, let's take the. The subject of drinking. I'm gonna go all in on that. Why in the world would I just do one? To me, that's kind of just like halfway doing something and average people halfway do something. I'm not average.
You know, there's. There's times that I fight being average because it, you know, I want to rest, too. I'm lazy sometimes and all that, but. But in general, the core of who I am, what drives me, is not average. And so I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna go all in.
And that's why it would always lead to, you know, more and more and more, which. Yeah, is just gonna kill me. Right. Whether it physically kills me or just mentally kills me, spiritually kills me. You know, it did everything but physically kill me.
That's pretty lethal in my book.
[00:39:53] Speaker C: Absolutely.
I have. If you drink alcohol, one of two things will happen before you turn 50. One, you will realize alcohol is killing you and you will make the choice to stop.
Two, you will realize alcohol is killing you, and you will continue to justify it while you continue to spiral downwards.
Yeah, I feel like that's really true.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. I think everyone comes to that realization. Just some people keep it to themselves because they don't want to. Either they don't want to address the issue, or they're just scared, or they think that they're going to go through the withdrawal things and they don't want to do that. They would rather just be alive and, you know, buzzed all the time rather than go through the pain of. Of the unknown.
But I'm. I'm confident that everyone, whether they choose to stop or not, understands at some point before they're in there. And that's. This is the pattern that I'm seeing. And that's why these people that reach out to me and they're like, they go so far out of their way to tell me they don't have a problem. I'm like, I didn't ask if you had a problem. I'm just stating something. You're going, you found me, right? They're like, well, that's just how the algorithm works. And you just came across my. Well, I have all kinds of stuff that comes across my page, and I just flip on through it like. Like something about this is grabbing you because you know. You know deep inside that something isn't right and that you have. You either have.
You're either at that point where you're. Where you're questioning yourself. Man, I. I'm having trouble walking up my stairs at night. I'm 45 years old. I wonder if it's from the alcohol, you know, and you try to find every other excuse in the book. The stairs are too steep. They were built wrong. Genetically, I'm messed up. So that's just how it is. I'm 45. This is what happens whenever you're in your 40s. You. You blame it on every single thing except for everything else.
[00:41:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Because as soon as you blame it on alcohol, now you have the choice now. Now it's now. Now the. The control is in your.
In your court and the ball's in your court or whatever, and you. And. And you have to figure out what to do with it. And most people are just like, I don't want to do anything with it. I just want to continue, you know, playing this bad hand. And yeah, I felt very strongly that.
That there's not one person that is like 82 years old and still drinking hardcore, if that is even possible.
And.
[00:42:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:21] Speaker B: And didn't at some point realize this was a problem. Like, that's just.
No one can tell.
[00:42:26] Speaker C: Got one more here. I like this one because it's some facts. Five reasons men should be fit. 33% of unfit men will become completely disabled before retirement.
61% of US men are overweight and unable to defend their family.
That one's heavy. Three, the average unfit male can't carry 50 pounds for 100 yards.
So I think of like a emergency situation like this next one. Most men can't sustain CPR long enough to actually save a life. And the fifth one is physically fit men. Can't physically fit men handle stress better.
[00:43:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So that one was. That's something that I've thought about, but it really put it into perspective when I was. I was just recently going through a CPR whatever, heavy blood restriction training, whatever it's called, the CPR training, basically first aid training. And there was probably. There was one. There's. There's six men in the group.
One woman or five men in the group. One woman and a kid or two. And two of the men kept complaining. So we were. We were. We were. Got to the point where we were doing the testing or the practicing of the chest pumps and mouth breathing. Right. We just did 20 seconds of chest pumps, I think, and then two breaths. 20 seconds. Two breaths. We just did that one cycle. That's all. We did like 40 seconds or 60 seconds of chest pumps and four breaths total.
And at the end of that, I'm just trying to work on the technique. And, and at the end of the first session of doing that, two of the guys were like, man, I don't know if I could. Like, that was hard. They were talking about how it was physically difficult for them, and I'm like, whoa, this was, you know, this was nothing like a real life situation. Now a real life situation, you're going to have some adrenaline flowing, so that's going to be beneficial in the moment.
But just the mere fact that, that it even registered in their brain that this was physically hard kind of shocked me, honestly, because I don't live in that world anymore and I was the same age as these guys. Like there wasn't like a huge age difference. In fact, the guy that was running the class was in his 60s and he's not the epitome of, of physically fit, but he was capable of doing this stuff. Right? And he, he was an instructor and, and he's fairly active.
But some of these other men were, were just having a real hard time. And I was just, and I've thought about this before relative to just defending your home, you know, in a situation or, you know, you see these people that, they throw a gun on their side or whatever, and all of a sudden they think they're Rambo or, or terminate, whatever. Like they just think there's something different than they're not. And, and it's just, I mean, there's a lot of training that I've never done. Like, I, I've never taken self defense. I don't think that I have the, the, the skill set to like fight somebody. And it actually look like I know what I'm doing. Right.
But so I understand that I have a deficiency there and I'm working on ways to, to, to address that in the, in the right manner with some jiu jitsu, things like that. That seems to be in the future for me. But so, so I realized that, that there's, there's more to it. But just the just the ability to sustain yourself physically, to carry your child from a poolside to the car, to go to the doctor if they drown, whatever, whatever.
Crazy things happen. Things happen all the time.
Seen a lot, experienced a lot, that required physical strength and endurance to get through just in my time. And most men could not do that. In fact, part of the CPR training is they give you, they're like, after a minute of doing this, if you fatigue, that's one of the questions is what do you do if you fatigue? And the answer is to stop and wait for the authorities. I'M like, this is weird to me. I don't understand why this is even. You know. It reminded me of in the military. When I was in the military, they, they, a lot of people were having trouble running for the two miles.
This was our US military and people are having trouble running two miles in their 20s and 30s for, for the yearly like physical test. So they changed it so that they could get on a stationary bike or they changed it for the, the flat footers or they changed it for the people that were a little overweight, you know, in the fat boy program they called it. And I'm like why are we changing the standards? Why are we changing all this stuff? Why are we giving people an out there? There should not be the answer. You just quit whenever you fatigue in a CPR training. But, but in order to pass people.
I guess that's where we're at, you know. And that's just, that was pretty eye opening to me.
[00:47:37] Speaker C: I was just reading on the news that they changed, changed the physical fitness test and made it a little more intense. Now I don't remember when I saw that. It must have been earlier in the week.
[00:47:47] Speaker B: I'm thinking that there's, there's, there's some of that stuff is happening. I was actually, when I was in the Dominican, one of the guys there that I hung out with most of the time, he's a, he's an officer. He's a colonel in the Navy. He's a doctor and he, he's a flight, flight medicine doctor. And he was talking about how he's, you know, over the last 20 something years he's watched it, you know, be like, you know, not like crazy back in Vietnam day, you know, whatever, but hardcore. But it was pretty intense when he got in and then it got way, you know, a lot of woke stuff came in or whatever, you know, just, just weak stuff, I guess I should say more so. And, and now he's seeing the, the pattern kind of go back up to where they're, they are changing things and they are requiring more.
And I mean you have to, you can't if you're. Somebody was just telling me that, you know, if. I mean I personally don't.
Nothing against women, I don't. I just don't think that that's a place where women excel, right? The physical strength part of it, the endurance part of it. You know, women have things that they go through month. Like there's just things that women are, do differently than men and for sure. And, and I think that if you're going to have women in these positions, like, I don't know, the elite, you know, SEAL training or ranger training or whatever. You don't, you don't adjust the standards.
You know, like the standards are the standards for a 5 foot 4 person or a 6 foot 4 person.
[00:49:23] Speaker C: Yeah, you know, the job's the same.
[00:49:25] Speaker B: And yeah, that was one of the things that this flight medicine doctor was telling me. He's like, he'll fail somebody because they're either too tall or too short to fit in a fighter jet.
He's like, that's not my, I'm not discerning. This is just the facts. It's nothing against you. These are just the standards.
And if we keep adjusting the standards so that we can fill seats or whatever, you're gonna have, you know, a seven foot one guy that always wanted to be a fighter pilot. He's like stuck in the jet or, or a little short guy. Right. You know, like there's, there's, there's another job for you, you know, and yeah, that, whatever, that sucks. That was your dream, so, so be it. But there's also physical standards, physical strength standards that we shouldn't make easier just so that we can start filling seeds. Right. You know, keep the standards high.
[00:50:16] Speaker C: Absolutely. I have one last question for you. It's a little bit of a curve ball.
You said that you're married for 29 years. Is it 29? What's your best advice for or your top tips for having a happy, thriving marriage?
[00:50:31] Speaker B: Communication. You have to communicate. And this is hard for guys a lot. I think there's even guys that are known for talking more. Real communication is really important. Understanding who your partner is and what motivates them, what drives them, what their fears are.
And we use a test called enneagram test. It's a really good personality test that really dives into that. But it really helps us understand each other. Knowing that if I respond a certain way to something and she responds this way to something, that doesn't mean that we're against each other. If we always remember that we're 100% for each other, no matter what it may seem like in the moment because I interpret something wrong or because she interprets something wrong.
If we know the truth. The truth is, is that I'm 100% for you and you're 100% for me.
That's been monumental for us. Communication, complete honesty and transparency. We don't separate things. We don't have a his and her bank account. We don't have A his and her. This, like, it's, it's just, we're just one and that's something that we've, we've always done.
And, and even in the midst of all that, like, there's, there's still, like, there's rocky, there's rocky roads. Right? It's, it's not, it's not gonna be, you know, roses and sunshine every single day, but it can be so much more amazing if you communicate and if you are just open and transparent and, and keep things together, you know?
[00:52:05] Speaker C: Yeah. That's beautiful. Thanks for sharing that. I'm gonna put some links to your stuff in the description, but just for those listening, where can people find you online?
[00:52:13] Speaker B: So on Instagram, it's fit over 40 dad.
I'm on tick Tock as well, but I kind of Quit messing with that one. That one's. That's a silly platform, but yeah, it is. Yeah.
I think I have. Oh, the Sobriety and Strength Legion over on school. The school platform is, is one of the, the monthly community platforms that I.
[00:52:37] Speaker C: Have you meet once a month on there.
[00:52:41] Speaker B: We meet.
No, we. I have two calls a week. I have two, two virtual calls a week.
And, and that's a, that's a paid community.
That's. That's where you're gonna get, like, if there's any nuggets to get for me, that's where they're gonna be. So, you know, I do stuff on Instagram, obviously that's helped a lot of people and a lot of people have change their lives just because of reading some of the stuff that I posted, you know, so that's great too.
But if you want to dig in a little bit deeper, the Sobriety and Strength Legion over on the school platform is, is probably going to be the place to do it. And Then there's always one on one opportunities.
If you want some merch, the fit over 40 merch is at.
I know the website. I think it's fit over 40dad.com.
[00:53:29] Speaker C: Oh, I didn't know you had merch. That's awesome.
[00:53:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't talk about it much because that's just not me. I just, I guess I, you know, I'm, I, I naively think, oh, I created a hat. Everyone will buy it just because they'll like subconscious, they'll like somehow telepathically know that I have merch and they'll buy it from me.
It's like, well, apparently I have to talk about stuff, so.
[00:53:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:53:51] Speaker B: But yeah, Instagram's probably the best way to get a hold of me.
[00:53:55] Speaker C: Yeah, like I said, your Instagram. I see your post every day and it inspires me and I, I really appreciate what you're A really important message and the, the honesty and transparency and, and sharing what you share. Super awesome. And thank you for taking the time today to be on the podcast.
[00:54:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad you reached out.
I actually, like, really like doing this. I. Especially now, I feel like I, My. My story is. Is so much more, I guess, polished, meaning I've. I've been able to tell it several times to people and I understand more about why I'm doing what I'm doing and, and. And why I'm where I'm at. And, and so it's enjoyable now. It was not enjoyable at the beginning.
The first time you do these things, it's not.
[00:54:44] Speaker C: But again, thank you. And do you have anything you'd like to add really quick?
[00:54:47] Speaker B: No, I mean, I, I think what you're doing is great. Just keep putting out good stuff. You know, it, It. It's amazing to me how many times I come across people that, that are just, you know, behind. Not behind the scenes, but just like in the. In the background, so to speak, that. That aren't verbal about how they've been impacted and, And.
And then they finally, after six months or a year, they're like, dude, I've been following you for this long and keep doing what you're doing. This has changed my life. And so it's the same for you that all this stuff, you know, Instagram, especially in all the platforms. I know whenever we first start, we won all these big numbers or whatever, but an interesting perspective that one of my coaches gave me was, you know, if you get a video, say you get a video that gets 300 views or even 30 views, if you could just imagine yourself in, in a room with 30 other people or 300 other people. That's a lot of freaking people.
Yeah, but on, but on these social platforms, we like, want three thousand and thirty thousand and three. You know, we want all this crazy stuff. So it, so it warps our perspective on things when the reality is it only took one person reaching out to me saying that their life was affected at the very beginning for me to continue doing what I was doing. I think I had 40 followers at the time, and I was about to just throw in the towel. It had been three or four months. I was like, you know, I feel great. I'm solid in who I am now.
And I was starting to Throw in the towel with this. I even stopped for a couple weeks, and a guy reached out and said, hey, you know, this has been impacting me. I was like, okay, well, it's one person. That's one life affected. Right.
[00:56:30] Speaker C: You know, my first one, too, was when I was at a. Like, a low point, about to give up when I was first getting started with the podcast and everything. And I. I got a comment through Spotify, and a guy was talking about how much my podcast had impacted his life. And I turned to my wife. I'm like, that makes it all worth it right there. Like, that's enough for me. Just. Just that one.
[00:56:49] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's really.
It really is. When you. When you dial it back into the actual.
Like, what's really important that's. That's where it's at is, you know, that one guy that was about to take his life and decided not to. Decided one more time to maybe dig into what this guy's saying or whatever. Right. And it changed his life.
That's.
You can't buy that.
[00:57:17] Speaker C: You know, that's what it's all for.
[00:57:19] Speaker B: Yeah, it's pretty. Pretty incredible. So we are making an impact. And, you know, we.
I think, just keeping it. Keeping perspective that, you know, it's not about how big our pages are or how big they even look. They're making an impact and influencing one other person. And at the. At the very. And this isn't minimum, but at the very minimum, like, you. You've got six kids. Yeah. So even if you have five and.
[00:57:45] Speaker C: One on the way. So. But.
[00:57:47] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. And that's. But even if it's just one child, like, there's nothing light about that either. But you're impacting the next generation. Right. You're impacting your wife. You're impacting, you know, any other family members that are watching, whether they want to admit it or not, it's. You know, some people don't understand what we're doing or why we're doing it. It. And I. And I get it. There's a lot of stuff that I don't understand, but it impacts and it makes a change, and it. And it changes who we are, and it. And it keeps that fire lit for us to keep doing the right things. Right. It's kind of our accountability as well, because no one's above.
[00:58:26] Speaker A: So, again, jd, thank you so much for coming on the show and teaching to us today, talking to us today. It was super awesome to have you. If you're listening to this I put some links down in the description description of this podcast episode or this video so you can find him online. Like I said, his content inspires me every day to be a better man in my life and honestly, to get ripped and fit sometime soon. I really need to get back on that. But just a super awesome guy. It was awesome to talk to him. Definitely subscribe to the podcast wherever you're getting this, whether it's on YouTube or one of the audio platforms. Leave a rating, leave a review. That's how we reach more men all over the world with these positive inspirations, inspiring messages and that's my mission to level up as many guys lives as I possibly can all over the world and that helps me do that. Definitely engage with the content that helps me reach more men as well. And if you've made it this far.
[00:59:13] Speaker C: In the episode, if you've made it.
[00:59:14] Speaker A: All the way to my spiel at the end and you have read my book Warrior Husband, I just put out a workbook that's a companion to that book. It's called the Warrior Husband Tactical Workbook and that's available right now on Amazon. So if you want to take it a step further, if you want to go deeper into Warrior Husband, I put together a workbook book and it's super awesome, bro.
[00:59:32] Speaker C: Check it out.
[00:59:33] Speaker A: Thanks for listening today. Get out there, Kill it. Level up every aspect of your life. There is a great calling and a great purpose for your life. A life of overflowing abundance awaits you. On the other side of you deciding to make the switch, make the change and level up every aspect of your life, a life of overflowing abundance awaits you. I love you. I'm proud of you. Have a good week and I will see you right here next week on the Warrior Kings podcast.
[00:59:55] Speaker C: Thanks guys. Bye.
